What Am I Going To Do Without You?
by GoldenGirlSherry
Summary: Angela and Tony are dating Andy and Kathleen. But, what are they going to do without each other!
1. Chapter 2

Tony had been driving around town for about a 1/2 hour trying to ease his troubled mind. He couldn't believe it!! Kathleen wanted to get married!! What in the world had happened tonight?! All he was supposed to do was meet her Father and now she wanted to get married? After her dad had left and they had cleaned up she had invited him to stay the night. But he had declined because ever since Kathleen had thrown her arms around him claiming that "she was so happy" he had felt like he was suffocating and couldn't wait to get out of there as soon as possible. So now here he was driving around town thinking about marrying Kathleen. But the million dollar was did he want to marry her? He did like her but did he love her? She was an okay gir..... "Oh man I hate this song." he grumbled and scanned the radio until he found one that he did like.

His thoughts drifted to times during his relationship with Kathleen that mirrored times that he had shared with Angela. He recalled one time when the two of them were baking cupcakes and she had thrown flour in his face. He could tell by the playful look in her eyes that she wanted the two of them to have a flour fight. But, he had frozen remembering the time he and Angela had their very own flour fight the night of her Birthday and the kiss that followed. He also recalled the time they had gone dancing but all he thought about were all the times he and Angela had danced: when they were out in California when Michael got married, at Paul and Isabelle's wedding where they had kept on dancing even when the band had taken a break, at Mona's apartment where he had moved into temporarily, in the living room when he had recreated her prom for her and other times as well. The memories had felt so real to him that he actually thought for a momet that it was indeed Angela he was dancing with and not Kathleen.

So why was he thinking about Angela while he was doing these things with his gir.... "Whoops stop sign!! You better slow down ." he said to himself as he put his foot on the brake. He looked in both directions and took his foot off the brake and went back on his way. He drove on thinking about how much his relationship with Angela had changed since he had made the decision to date Kathleen. He knew that he had hurt her but she seemed to be doing okay. She was dating other guys and did seem happy enough. That made him uneasy however. He knew that he didn't have any right to feel jealous or anything. After all he was the one that had changed the status of their relationshp in the first place. But he still recalled the feeling of jealousy when Angela was so smitten with Christopher that it made him follow her on her date with him. But was it really jealousy? Or was he just looking out for his best friend?

He had to be brutally honest with himself here. He was the reason why she had been dating these other guys. If he hadn't decided to pursue this relationship with Kathleen then Angela probably wouldn't have given these guys a second look. A selfish part of him hated the idea of her dating other men. But what did he expect? For her to sit around at home moping? For her to never date other guys? He was dating someone so why couldn't she? After all like she had said they needed to "broaden their horizons to see if their relationship could go any further." But how far did he want their relationship to go? Were they better off just remaining friends? Their friendship was the most important relationship in the world to him except for being Sam's Dad of course. Was it worth the risk to see if they could indeed go any further? Or should their relationship stay the way it was..... forever? He sighed and decided to head on home to go to bed.

Home. He loved saying that word. Then it hit him like a baseball bat hitting a ball. If he married Kathleen he no longer would be able to call Angela's house his home. The thought terrified him. Would he be able to accept the fact that he and Angela wouldn't be sharing their daily lives anymore? He arrived home and let himself in the front door. He climbed the stairs his steps feeling heavier and heavier like his heart now was. He opened the door to his bedroom and went inside. He took off his clothes and put on his pajamas and climbed into bed. The cold realization that he could possibly lose Angela if he married Kathleen scared the hell out of him. Surprisingly, he felt his eyes filled with tears.

"What am I going to do without you Angela?" he whispered before falling in a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 3

Angela awoke on a tear stained pillow her nose all stuffy. She grabbed a few tissues from the box on her night stand and blew her nose. She leaned back against her pillows willing her self to calm down. She had finally fallen asleep only to find herself plagued by nightmares. Nightmares of Tony and Kathleen. Images swirled around inside her head of the two of them marrying and having a baby girl together. She saw them happily living together in a beautiful house complete with a swing set for their little girl. As much as she tried she couldn't get the image out of her mind of Tony being so happy and so in love with Kathleen.

She couldn't believe things had gotten this far. What had happened? What had happened since their talk in Jamaica? Was it something she had said? Done? Something she shouldn't have said? Something she shouldn't have done? Ever since that day she had found out about them she had been trying to figure out where she had gone wrong- or maybe where they had gone wrong.

She was tired. She was sad. She was alone. She knew logically that she wasn't alone but in her heart she felt like she was. Ever since their talk in Jamaica she had felt like the two of them were finally getting somewhere. Of course it would take some time but she was fine with that. But, she didn't feel fine anymore.

After their talk in Jamaica she had had this daydream of the two of them walking down a beautiful country road. The sky was blue, the air was warm, and birds sang the sweetest melody. They talked, laughed, and held hands knowing in their hearts that one day soon they would both be ready. The road may be a little long but as long as they walked together they would be fine. They would always be together.

Then Kathleen had come along and before she knew it Tony had let go of her hand and was now holding Kathleen's. He was now talking and laughing with her. He had left her all alone on that country road. Only now it wasn't warm anymore. It was cold. It was dark. It was lonely. She wanted him back. She needed him back. She wanted him to hold her hand again. She wanted him to talk and laugh with her like they used to. Before everything had all changed. Before he had chosen another woman over her. Things felt different between them. She felt different. In the past few months things were slowly getting better but there was still that feeling of awkwardness. She wished with all her heart that they could have back what they had before. But, with all that happened she just couldn't see how that would ever be possible.

She sighed and looked over at the clock on her nightstand. She jumped up and started to getting ready. She was having breakfast with Andy and was running behind. She quickly showered and got dressed and made her way downstairs 20 minutes later.

She walked throught the living room and was about to enter the kichen when she heard Tony, Mona, and Sam talking. She froze when she realized what they were talking about. Marriage. Tony was telling them that Kathleen wanted to get married and have kids.

"I was right. God help me I was right." she said softly willing herself not to cry. All of a sudden she felt like she was in a coffin and turned on her heels so she could leave.

"Hi Mom." Jonathon said coming down the stairs.

"Oh hi Jonathon."

"Mom, are you okay?" he asked in concern noticing her sad expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just running late." she assured him. "I'll see you later honey."

"Okay bye Mom." he told her watching her leave.

He went into the kitchen where he found Mona and Sam deep in conversation.

"I can't believe this Mona." Sam said angrily looking out the kitchen window watching Tony getting into his jeep so he could go see Kathleen.

"You can't believe what?"

"About Tony and Kathleen." Mona filled him in.

"What about Tony and Kathleen?" he asked a feeling of coldness filling his stomach.

"Dad says she wants to get married." Sam said turning to Jonathon.

They stared at one another. The same expression of fear and disgust on their faces.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Kids come here and sit down." When they were seated she continued. " Look I am older than the 2 of you and I have seen it all. I've also done it all." she said with a wicked grin. Seeing their expressions she went on with what she was saying."and I want you both to know that this Tony/Kathleen thing is only temporary."

"If it is so temporary than why is Dad talking about marrying her?" Sam asked bitterly.

"He said that he thinks that she does. He never said that he wanted to."

"Yeah well whatever. If Tony marries her and if Mom marries Andy our family will never be the same again." Jonathon said angrily jumping up and going out the back door.

"Jonathon!!" Sam started to stand up but was stopped by Mona.

"Let him be Sam. He needs time to himself."

"Mona, what he said was right. If Dad marries Kathleen and if Angela marries Andy our family will never be the same."

"We will always be family Sam. No one and nothing will ever change that."

"I know Mona. But just the thought of the two of them getting married. Mona, he doesn't even love her!!! I've seen how he looks at her and it defintely isn't love." she stops for a moment and looks down. She lifts her head back up and with tears in her eyes she continues. "But I've seen how he looks at Angela. He looks at her like he did my Mom. I may have been a little girl but I still remember that look." The tears fell down her cheeks and Mona pulled her into her arms. Sam laid her head down on her shoulder grateful that she was there.

"Sam honey I know this is hard but we have to have faith that things will turn out the way they are supposed to."

Sam lifted her head and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She sighed and asked " But what if they don't? What if faith isn't enough?"

Mona had no answer for that.


	3. Chapter 4

Tony and Kathleen arrive back at her apartment after an exhausting and exhilarating day of furniture shopping. Exhausting for him and exhilarating for her. Before today Tony had never realized how many different styles of chairs, couches, lamps, and paint samples there were. It was all so much to take in. Kathleen on the other hand had had a great day. It had been so much fun picking out furniture with Tony. Even though they hadn't made any final decisons just being with him was enough. She had been worried about their relationship for a while now. It had all started the night he had taken her out to dinner. He had been so preoccupied and had acted so bizarre that she finally had had enough. So she had confronted him only to find out that Angela was there as well on a date. When it occured to her that he had only taken her there so that he could spy on this woman whom he claimed was only his boss and friend she had become humilated and furious. She had stalked from the restaurant her temper flaring. But after a while she had calmed down and had called him at home and after a long talk their relationship got back on track well except for that one thing.

Angela. That thing that always was between them. She just didn't understand their relationship. They were employer and employee and that should be it. Right? But it always seemed to be more than that and quite frankly every time she thought about it it made her uneasy. He was always talking about her. How many times had he bragged about Angela winning some big advertising account? How many times had he talked about something cute or funny Angela said or did or had done in the past? The worst part of it all was that she was afraid to tell him that she was sick and tired of hearing about Angela, Angela, Angela!!! But she knew that she couldn't. Tony had always been very protective of Angela and their friendship. She had to do something. She had to get his mind off of Angela and on to her. After much thought she came up with the perfect plan. All she had to hope for now is that the plan would work.

The first part of the plan had worked like a charm. She had invited Tony to meet her Father whom she hoped would give Tony his "my biological clock is ticking" speech. She had pretended to be upset with her Dad when Tony had told her about it. But secretly she was pleased. And the speech Tony had given her about children and children's children? It made her giddy every time she thought about it. She was reeling him in. She did hate herself for having to be so manipulative but hey all's fair in love and war. The second part had worked pretty well too. They had spent the entire day furniture shopping. She kept on imagining how the furniture they had picked out would look in _their_ place. That was the next part of her plan. She was going to convince Tony to move in with her. The sooner she got him away from Angela and that house the better everything would be.

************************************************************

"Angela, are you okay?"

"What?"

"You seem preoccupied."

"Oh Andy I'm so sorry."

"That's okay. But what is the matter?"

Angela looked at this man. This nice man who treated her so well. But all she could think about was Tony. The man who had broken her heart. But also the man who still had and would always have her heart. Andy with all his amazing and generous qualities would never have her heart. She couldn't keep leading him on. Even though things probably would never progress with Tony and her she couldn't keep letting Andy think that they had any sort of a future together.

"Ummm Andy? We need to talk."

******************************************************

"Wasn't today a great day?"

"Yeah, it was okay."

"Tony, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever think about the future?"

"Oh sure. I think Sam getting married and having kids. I think about where I'll be teaching after I graduate."

"No, I mean our future."

"Ours?"

"Yeah, I mean we have been going out for a while now and I was just thinking that you should move in here with me."

"Move in?!" Tony's voice squeaked. Clearing his throat he tried again. "Move in? But I already have a home."

"Tony, that's Angela's home. It isn't yours."

"But, I've lived there for almost 7 years."

"Tony you are the housekeeper there. You are going to college to become a teacher. Do you really think you are going to live in Angela's house the rest of your life?"

"Well ummm..."

"And what if Angela gets married? Hmmm? Do you really think that her new husband would want you living with them?"

A cold shudder went through Tony at the thought.

"I mean come on Tony. You said yourself that Sam is practically moved out and Jonathon will be in a few years. Does Angela really need you to be a 24 hour a day 7 day a week housekeeper?"

"Well, no I guess not." Tony said sadly.

"Well then move in with me. You can still be Angela's housekeeper until you graduate and get a teaching job. Come on what do you say?"

"I'll think about it."

"That sounds good to me." she said and place her head on his shoulder her face lighting up with a big smile.

Tony on the other hand wasn't smiling.

*******************************************************

"Okay, so what is it?"

"Andy, you know how wonderful I think you are but."

"Angela?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ending things?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Did I do something? Did I say something?'

"No, no." she assured him. "I'm just...."

"You're just not into this relationship."

"No, I'm not. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Actually I've always felt like you've been holding back."

Angela nodded.

"And I guess I'd rather have us end things now as friends."

"Me too."

They both stood up and hugged each other goodbye.

"Good bye Angela. I wish you well."

"Same to you Andy."

He threw some money on the table to cover the bill and with one last look at her left the diner.

Angela watched him leave and sighing heavily gathered up her coat and purse and left as well.


	4. Chapter 5

Tony arrived home more confused than ever. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of iced tea sitting down with it at the kitchen table. He just wished he knew what the right thing to do was. He had to admit that Kathleen did have a point. If Angela ever got married again there would be no way that her new husband would want him staying there. After all what man would want his new wife's male best friend living in the same house with them? And Kathleen had another good point about Sam and Jonathon. Sam was almost moved out and Jonathon would be leaving for college in a few years. Everything Kathleen said made a lot of sense. But why then did he feel uncomfortable every time he thought about moving? He needed to talk to someone. Immediately his thoughts went to Angela. In the past they would always go to each other for advice. They would talk over whatever problem either one of them was having over a hot cup of tea. He chuckled as he recalled all the times they had sat up late at night talking about the kids, school, work, trouble that Mona always seem to get into. All of their problems could always seem to be taken care of over a nice hot cup of tea. Except for this problem. He desperately wanted to talk to her but how could he? Ever since he had started dating Kathleen things between the two of them had been strained and awkward. They were a little better now but there were still moments of uneasiness. He missed her. He missed how they used to be.

He got up and rinsed his glass out and placed it in the sink. He went into the living room and noticed Angela sitting on the couch a forlorn expression on her face. His heart sank when he saw her like that. He wish he knew what to say or do to make her smile again. He used to. But, not anymore.

"Hey Angela. Are you okay?" he asked with concern and sat down beside her.

"Yeah, I'm.... No, I'm..." taking a deep breath she continued "I just ended things with Andy."

"Oh I'm sorry."

"It was for the best. I just wasn't into the relationship."

"But still it must hurt."

"Yeah, it does. I'm mostly upset because I knew my heart wasn't in it from the beginning. In fact I don't think my heart ever will be with anyone."

"Oh come on Angela. Don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth."

An awkward silence fell upon them. He wanted to find the right words to reassure her but for some reason he couldn't. She in turn wanted to tell him that the reason why she could never give her heart to another man was because she had already given it to him. But, he didn't want it and had given his heart to another woman. A woman whom he was going to marry. A part of her wanted to talk to him about it. They might as well get it all out in the open. Take of the band aid and swallow the bitter nasty tasting medicine. The other part of her wanted to go to her room, crawl under her covers and never come out. Maybe if she did that Tony would never leave and marry her. She knew she wasn't being logical but she didn't care. Unfortunately she knew that hiding out would only prolong the agony. So taking another deep breath she broke their silence.

"So ummm how are things between you and Kathleen?"

Tony was speechless for a moment. She had just given him the perfect opportunity to tell her but a part of him was holding back. He knew that it would probably be for the best if he told her then and there. But, there was another part of him that didn't want to tell her. Things were already uncomfortable between them. He couldn't even imagine how things would be between them after he told her.

"Tony?!"

"Oh, sorry. Well actually Kathleen thought.."

"Kathleen thought what?" Mona asked coming in through the kitchen door.

"Mother, Tony and I are trying to have a private conversation."

"Go ahead. You won't bother me."

"Mother!!"

"No, it's okay Angela. Actually the whole family should hear this."

As if on cue Sam and Jonathon arrived through the front door.

"Hey guys. i'm glad you're here. Sit down I have something to say."

Sam and Jonathon looked at each other. They knew what was coming and it made them both sick.

"So anyway as I was saying before Kathleen thinks that I should move in with her."

An uneasy silence fell upon them.

"So what does everyone think?"

No one said anything.

"Come on guys none of you has ever been shy before. Tell me what you think."

"You want to know what I think Tony?" Jonathon asked obviously upset.

"Yeah."

"I think you should do whatever the hell you want. It really doesn't matter to me one way or the other!!" He got off the couch and stalked up the stairs.

"Jonathon wait!!"

Sam stood up and without saying a word left the room via the kitchen door.

" I guess I'll go talk to her." Tony left to follow Sam.

"Angela!! Are you really going to let him move out?"

"Let him? Mother he's a grown man. He can live whereever and with whoever he wants."

"Oh Angela stop being so noble!! Do you really want him moving?"

"Of course I don't Mother but what can I do?"

"Well if you weren't dating that geek Andy I'd tell you to.."

"We broke up."

"You did?! That's great!! Now you can fight for Tony!!"

"Fight for him?"

"Yeah, come on dear. You can't let Kathleen win."

"She already has Mother. She already has."

Mona watched in despair as Angela got off the couch and went into her study.

"Hey Sam how about a game of 1 on 1?"

"I'm not in the mood."

"Hey come on sweetheart. We always talk things out over a game of hoops. Come on I'll spot you 10 points."

"I said I'm not in the mood!"

"Okay. Come on Sam talk to me."

"About what?"

"Sam!!"

Okay fine. So you want to talk about you moving in with her?"

"Yeah, I mean how would you feel about that?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"I'd hate it Dad."

"Ummm okay. Would you mind telling me why?"

"It's very simple Dad. She's not Angela!!"

"I know that honey. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Dad, don't you get it?"

Tony shook his head.

"When Mom died I never wanted you to fall in love and get married again. I know it was selfish of me but that was how I felt. Then we moved here and I met Angela. Then suddenly I realized it wouldn't be so bad if you and Angela were to fall in love and marry."

"You really felt that way?"

"Yeah. I mean I miss Mom every day."

"Me too."

"But with Angela around things didn't seem so bad. It was like I had two Mothers. One in heaven who I know will always watch out for me and one down here who was there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to."

"That's a nice way of looking at it." he smiled

"And if you end up marrying Kathleen I'm never going to think of her as my Mother. I already have 2 great Mothers. I don't need or want anyone else."

"But Sam I thought you liked Kathleen?"

"Why?"

"Well you're always polite to her."

"That's how Mom, you, and Angela raised me."

"So, you don't like her?"

"I have nothing against her. But as I said before she's not Angela and she never will be. I will never love her or seek her advice like I do with Angela. As far as I'm concerned she's just a woman you are dating. I'll be polite and cordial but I'll never like her."

"Ummm wow I never knew you felt that way towards Kathleen."

"I'm sorry Dad. But you wanted me to be honest."

"Yeah, I did."

"I'm going to go back inside."

"Okay honey."

Sam left Tony and went into the house.

"Hey Sam, how did it go?"

"I don't know Mona. I did my best."

"Same here with Angela."

"I just wish there was some way to knock some sense into Dad!!"

"Me too!"

Sam was silent for a few minutes when a smile spread across her face.

"What's with the grin?'

"Oh I just thought of a few people to knock err talk some sense into Dad."

Without another word Sam picked up the phone and began to dial.....


	5. Chapter 6

A few days later at Marty's Melody Room.....

"Hey Marty get me a beer will ya?"

"Sure Vinnie." Marty said sliding him a beer.

"Put it on my tab."

"Ya got it!"

Vinnie took his beer and sat down waiting for the rest of the guys to come. He had called all of them the day before to meet him at Marty's at 5:30. He had to convince them to help talk Tony out of moving in with Kathleen. He knew it wouldn't be a problem. They all knew that Tony didn't belong with her much less loved her. He recalled the shock he felt when Sam called him a few nights ago.

Ring Ring

"Hello?"

"Hi Uncle Vinnie. It's me Sam"

"Sam!! Hi sweetheart. How are ya?"

"I'm fine. But.."

"But what?"

"It's Dad."

"Tony?! Is he okay? Was he in an accident?"

"No, no. he's fine. Well physically anyway."

"What's wrong then?"

"He's talking about moving in with Kathleen." she said sullenly.

"He's what?! Is he crazy?!"

"I've tried talking to him about it."

"What did you say?"

"That I'd hate it."

Vinnie laughed. "Straight to the point huh Sammy?"

"Hey a daughter's gotta do what a daughter's gotta do." she quipped. "But seriously I'm worried. Dad will be making the biggest mistake of his life if he moves in with her." she said her voice dripping with disdain. "and if they get married..."

"Whoa Whoa hold the phone! Tony is talking about marrying her?"

"Well actually from what Dad told Mona and me she's the one who wants to."

"Oh man this isn't good."

"I know." Sam sighed. "So I was just wondering if you and the rest of the guys could knock err talk some sense into him?"

"Ya got it honey and if I have to knock some sense into him well he deserves it after taking all my money at our last poker game."

"Thanks Uncle Vinnie." she laughed. "Bye!!"

"See Ya Sam!!"

Vinnie snapped out of his reverie when the rest of the guys arrived (sans Tony who Vinnie told to come at 6:00)

"Hey Vinnie what's up?" Tiny asked sitting down and grabbing a handful of pretzels.

"I'm gonna get some drinks." Eddie said. "Everyone wanna beer?"

"No, I want some fruity drink with a pink umbrella in it." Philly quipped.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Fine Philly you want some little finger sandwiches too?"

"Nah but order a large pepperoni pizza."

"Got it."

"So is everything okay?" Joey asked.

"No, it's not. " Vinnie sighed and took a swig of his beer.

"Well what's up?" Tiny asked again.

"It's Tony."

"What about Tony?" Eddie asked as he deposited everyone's beers on the table. They all had a good laugh when they realized that Philly's beer had a pink umbrella in it.

"Courtesy of Marty." Eddie snickered.

"Thanks Marty!!" Philly yelled holding his beer up.

"Anytime!"

"Okay guys enough humor. What's the matter with Tony?" Joey asked drinking some of his beer.

"Well Sam called me a few days and told me that Tony is thinking about moving in with Kathleen."

Tiny choked on some pretzels, Philly spit out the beer he was drinking, and Eddie and Joey both sat there duel looks of complete shock on their faces.

"Is he..... Is he serious?" Tiny managed to gasp out.

"Well he's thinking of it. I'd say that's pretty serious."

"Wait wait wait." Philly shook his head. "How do you know about this?"

"Sam called me a few nights ago."

"Oh man. If he moves in with her it will be the dumbest thing he ever did." Eddie said running his hands across his face.

"Not as dumb as marrying her."

"He wants to marry her?!"

"Well according to Sam it was Kathleen's idea."

"Well let's just make sure it never becomes Tony's idea."

"Yeah. That's why I called you all here. Look we have all known Tony all our lives and it's obvious that he doesn't love Kathleen. Hell, he can't even call her his girlfriend."

"That's true. He always starts to but ends up saying something totally different."

"Yep, remember how he had no problem calling Marie his girlfriend when they were dating?"

"Oh yeah it was always my girlfriend Marie, my girlfriend, my girlfriend. " Joey smiled.

"Yeah, and remember how he always used to look at her?"

"Like she hung the moon."

"And how he used to talk about her?"

"Like she was the greatest thing since baseball was invented."

"And we know that Tony has never talked about or looked at Kathleen like that."

"Yeah, remember Vinnie when we came here and saw Tony and Kathleen here?" Philly asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Well what happened?" Tiny asked.

"Well Tony about jumped up and begged us to sit with them. It was like he didn't want to be alone with her."

"Well maybe they just had a fight."

"No, everything seemed okay. At least from her. Tony on the other hand seemed really uncomfortable."

"Not like he is when Angela is around." Philly said winking at all of them.

And there was the reason. Angela. They all knew that Tony had fallen in love with Angela. They noticed the looks he always gave her. The way his voice sounded when he talked about her. It was exactly the same way it was with Marie.

"Yeah, so anyway I called Tony here so we could knock some sense into him."

"Tone's not gonna like all of us ganging up on him."

"Would ya rather go to his wedding to Kathleen?"

"Nope."

"Okay. It's settled then. " Vinnie said glancing at his watch. "Tony should be arriving any minute now."

10 minutes later 1/2 the pizza was gone and they were all on their 3rd glass of beer (with 2 more pink umbrellas for Philly) when Tony arrived.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Tone!"

"Hi Tony."

"I'm gonna get a beer. Leave me a few slices will ya?"

"We're not making any promises." Tiny grinned as he grabbed another slice.

"Okay guys here goes nothing." Vinnie said in a low voice so Tony wouldn't hear him.

"So guys what's up?" Tony asked sitting down and grabbing a slice of pizza. "Ummm Philly what's with the 3 pink umbrellas?!"

"I wanted them. You gotta problem with that Micelli?"

"Whatever makes ya happy Philip." Tony said cracking up. "So anyway is anything the matter?"

"You could say that." Eddie said giving Tony a serious look.

"Well what is it?"

"A very good friend of ours is about to do something really stupid."

"Okay. Who is the friend and what stupid thing is he about to do?"

"His name is Tony and he is thinking about moving in with the wrong woman." Vinnie said not mincing any words.

"How do you know about that?" Tony asked shocked.

"Sam called me a few nights ago."

"Look Tony we're your friends and we only want what's best for you and if we truly thought moving in with Kathleen was for the best we'd be happy for you  
but....." Joey trailed off.

"But what?" Tony asked suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"You don't love her." Philly said in a rare moment of sincerity.

"Well, I mean we've only been dating for a few months and uh well there's a school and um work." Tony hastened to come up with excuses.

"So you don't love her?" Tiny asked.

"Well I well ummm" he stammered.

"Tony if you loved her you would have no problem saying it or calling her your girlfriend."

"I call her my gir..... hey Marty how about another beer?"

"Sure thing!"

"See Tony?"

"See what?"

"You always start to but then end up saying something else."

"You never had any problems saying that you loved Marie or calling her your girlfriend."

"Marie was different."

"Yeah she was." Joey smiled. "and that's how we know that you don't belong with Kathleen and that moving in with her would be a huge mistake."

"Why?"

"Because you don't look at or talk about Kathleen like you did with Marie."

"Come on. Marie was my wife."

"Yep and you always looked at Marie like she hung the moon and always talked about her like she was the greatest thing since baseball."

"Well she was." Tony said softly lost in thought.

"You see Tony we never thought in a million years we would ever see you like that with another woman again after Marie died." Eddie said gently. "But we were wrong. You do look at and talk about someone just like that."

"Oh really? Who?"

"Angela." Vinnie said once again not mincing any words.

"Angela?!"

"Yeah, ya know Angela. Blonde hair, brown eyes, owns her own Ad agency."

"I know who she is. But we're just friends and that's it."

"Oh really?"

"Yes!!"

"Okay then Tony tell us this: Why is it whenever you talk about Kathleen you always have this pained look on your face? But whenever you talk about Angela your eyes and voice fill with some sort of goofy love?" Tiny asked grabbing the last slice of pizza.

"Look guys Angela and I are best friends."

"Well then you are in love with your best friend."

"Guys look I know you are just trying to help but really I can take care of myself."

"We wouldn't be doing this if we weren't concerned about you. We just don't want to see you making a big mistake."

"And moving in with and possibly marrying Kathleen would be the biggest."

"How did you......let me guess Sam?"

"Yeah. She's worried Tony. We all are."

"But Kathleen is a nice girl."

"Yeah? So what? There are a lot of nice girls in the world. Are you going to move in with all of them?" Philly asked sternly.

"No of course not. Look I'm gonna go." Tony stood up and threw some money on the table.

"Tony!"

"What?'

"Just think about what we said okay?"

"Yeah yeah fine." Tony replied and walked out.

"Do you think we got through to him?"

"Only time will tell." Vinnie sighed.


	6. Chapter 7

Jonathon had been awake for over an hour unable to sleep. Ever since Tony had made the big announcement things had been tense in the house. Sam was upset, his grandma wasn't her usual joyous self, and his mom? well she was as miserable as he had ever seen her. As for Jonathon he was angry. Angry at Tony, angry at Kathleen, angry at the whole damn situation. He couldn't even stand being in the same room as Tony now. Every time he saw Tony in the house he would turn and walk away. He knew he was hurting him and he knew he was acting like a spoiled little boy but he didn't care. Tony was destroying the family all for another woman. How could he do it to them? How could he do it to his mom? Did Kathleen really mean more to Tony than they did? He didn't want to believe it but the fact that Tony was seriously considering moving in with her only made it seem all the more true. He slipped out of bed and headed downstairs in search of something to eat. He swung the kitchen door open and was greeted by the sight of his Mom at the stove. Her back was to him but he could tell by the shake of her shoulders that she was crying. The tea kettle whistled and he walked over and turned it off gently urging her to sit down at the table. He made them both a cup of tea and scrounged around in the cupboards until he found the box of cookies he was looking for.

They ate and drank in silence for a few minutes both of them lost deep in their thoughts. He wanted to find some way to comfort her but for some reason was unable to do so. He wished there were some magic words that would make her feel better but what could he possibly say to make her feel better about all this? The man who had been like a Dad to him since he was 7 years old had broken his Mom's heart all over another woman. He had never imagined in a million years that Tony would ever do something like that. But he had and it made Jonathon furious every time he thought about it. A part of him still loved Tony and he knew he always would but for now the angry bitter side was winning. He watched as his Mom got up from the table to put her cup in the sink.  
His heart broke when he saw how sad she looked.

"Mom?"

"Yeah honey?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" perplexed she turned to look at her son.

"For what Tony is doing to you."

"Oh Jonathon Tony isn't..."

"Mom, I know Tony is breaking your heart. I know he broke your heart. You don't have to pretend in front of me." he said gently.

"Honey, you don't have to worry about me."

"You're my Mom. Of course I'm going to worry about you. I've been worried about you ever since Tony started dating Kathleen." disgust filled his voice as he said her name.

"Jonathon," she sat back down at the table and clasped he hands together. "Are you okay with Tony moving out?"

"Like I said when he told us I really don't care."

"Honey, you don't mean that."

"Sure I do. If he doesn't care about us then why should I...."

"Tony loves you."

"If he loved me then why is he doing this? Why is he destroying the family over another woman? Why doesn't he care that he is hurting you and causing you pain?! Why is the man who I've thought of like a Dad all these years acting like this?!"

"I guess this is something he needs. I guess she is someone he needs."

"What about us? Doesn't he need us anymore?"

"Of course he does."

Shaking his head Jonathon leaned back in his chair. "If that were true Mom he wouldn't be thinking of moving out. But I guess I should be used to it. After all this won't be the first time my Dad left me.... and you."

"Honey, I know you were hurt when your Dad and I got divorced."

"Yeah but......"

"What?"

"It didn't seem so bad because I had Tony. I mean I kind of had the best of both worlds. I had Dad the big adventurer with all these cool stories and I had Tony to help me with my homework, with girls, with basketball......." trailing off he lowered his head so his Mom wouldn't see his eyes that were now filled with tears.

"Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry."

"Mom?"

"What?"

"How would you feel if he actually did move in with her?"

"If it was what he truly wanted then I'd be fine with it."

"Mom, don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't sugarcoat it and don't hide your true feelings. Tell me honestly how would you feel?"

Sighing heavily her voice and hands shaking she whispered "I'd hate it. I'd feel like my heart was breaking all over again." Tears fell down her cheeks and his as he got up from his chair to put his arms around her. Once again he wished he knew of some magic words to make her feel better. But for now letting her cry on his shoulder was enough.  
*************************************************************************************************************

Sam sat at the head of her bed her knees tucked under her chin. She had been awake for over an hour trying to decide what to do next. Vinnie had called her after he and the rest of the guys had gotten done talking to Tony. He told her that they had said all they could to convince him that moving in with Kathleen would be the biggest mistake of his life.

"I don't know how well it worked Sammy."

"Thanks for trying Uncle Vinnie. And tell the other guys thanks too."

"Ya got it!! Bye Sam!"

"Bye!"

Shaking her head Sam sighed and stretched her legs out. There was one more thing she could do but it was a long shot. A verrrrrryyyyy long shot.  
"Something out of this world." she laughed softly. But she would anything short of murder to stop her Dad from moving in with Kathleen. "Well here goes nothing." she sighed and began.

"Mom? It's me Sam. But I guess you know that." smiling she ran her hands through her hair. "I need to talk to you. Dad is in trouble- big trouble. He's thinking about moving in with this woman he's been dating. I know that probably doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. Dad he- he doesn't belong with her. They're all wrong for each other. Everyone can see that. I can, Mona can, Jonathon, Uncle Vinnie, Tiny, and the rest of the guys from the old neighborhood...... But you know Dad, stubborn as a mule. I know that he knows that she isn't the woman for him. Angela is and I know that he knows that. You should see the way he looks at her and talks about her. It's just like he did with you." smiling softly lost in her memories Sam sat silent for a few minutes. "Anyway I know this is a lot to ask but could you maybe oh I don't know find some way of stopping Dad? I just can't stand the idea of Dad being with the wrong woman. Dad belongs with Angela. I really need your help here Mom. Dad needs your help. Before he makes the biggest mistake of his life."  
Sam crawled under the covers and before drifting off to sleep she whispered "Good Night Mom. I love you!!"

*********************************************************************************************************  
A beautiful dark haired, dark eyed woman quietly entered Sam's room. She leaned down and brushed her hair from her forehead kissing her softly. "Don't you worry my beautiful Samantha. I will do all I can to help." She stood up and began to leave as quietly as she had entered. Before she left she turned around and blew a kiss at her sleeping daughter and then quietly slipped out the door and into the hall.......


	7. Chapter 8

"Tony! Tony wake up!!"

Tony groaned as he threw his arm over his eyes. He couldn't believe it. He had finally started to fall asleep after hours of tossing and turning only to be awakened by...... wait a minute. Who was telling him to wake up? The voice was definitely female but it wasn't Angela or Mona. The voice sounded just like Sam's but she wouldn't be calling him Tony. The voice sounded like......no it couldn't be her. "I must be in the middle of a strange dream." he mumbled.

"No, you're not." Marie said sternly "Up and at em Anthony Morton Micelli!!!" At the mention of the name Morton Tony quickly sat up and stared incredulously at the person at the end of the bed.

"Marie?" Tony asked in amazement.

"Hi Tony!"

"Wha? What's going on? Am I.... am I dead?"

"No, you're not." she assured him. "But you are in trouble."

"I am?"

"Yes, and I'm here to help you."

"Help me with what?"

"I think you know." she said gently.

"No, really I....."

"Tony!!"

"Okay." he said shaking his head and climbing out of bed. "But, how did you find out?"

"Sam."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, she talks to me almost every night about what is going on in her life and your life. She is worried about you Tony."

"I'm fine."

"Oh really?'

"Well okay I guess I am a little confused."

"About whether or not you should move in with Kathleen?"

"Yeah." he sighed and sat down at the end of the bed.

"Well that's where I come in." she smiled and held out her hand.

Tony smiled back at her and slipped his hand in hers.

"Are you ready?"

"For what?'

"I'm going to show you what all your lives will be like whether you end up choosing Kathleen or Angela."

"How are you going to do that?" he asked confused.

"Just come with me and you'll see."

*************************************************************

They found themselves standing in Kathleen's apartment. Tony gazed around and then back at Marie.

"So um, what exactly am I supposed to be seeing here?"

"Just wait."

The door opened and Tony gasped as he saw himself come through it. He looked tired and unhappy.

"What's wrong with me? I look terrible." he whispered.

"Well there is a reason for that." Marie sighed. "By the way you don't have to whisper. Nobody can see or hear us."

"Okay. But why do I look so unhappy?"

Before Marie could explain they both witnessed Kathleen coming out of the kitchen.

"Tony!!" she squealed and flung herself at him.

"Hi Kathleen, how are you?'

"Much better now that my husband is here." she giggled and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Husband?! Kathleen and I are married?"

"You've been married for about 5 years."

"Are we happy?"

"Kathleen is."

"But, I'm not?"

"Tony, look at yourself. Do you look happy?"

Tony turned his attention to his future self. His eyes were full of sadness and he looked like he had aged 100 years. Tony felt a lump in his throat as he watched his future self remove himself from Kathleen's embrace murmuring that he was going to go change his clothes.

"Umm Marie?'

"Yeah?"

"If I'm not happy being married to Kathleen then why am I?

"Isn't it obvious? You didn't think you were good enough to be with the woman you truly wanted. "

"But Angela and I are just..."

"Friends?"

"Yeah."

"Tony the two of you haven't been just "friends' for a long time."

"But I... but we.." he stammered.

"Tony don't you see what's going on here?" she asked in frustration gesturing around her. "Or should I say what's NOT going on?'

"What do you mean?"

"Tony, when we were married every time you saw me you would pick me up and swing me around and kiss me with so much love and passion it made me feel all giddy and warm inside. "

"Well you were my wife."

"Yeah and so is Kathleen. At least she is here. And you barely kissed her. "

"Well maybe I'm just tired."

"Tony, you were always tired when you came back after months of playing baseball. But you would always swing me around no matter how tired you were."

Tony shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. He was confused and frustrated.

"Marie I'm so confused."

"I know you are." she said softly. "And I hate to add to your confusion but there are some other things I need to show you."

"Am I going to like them?"

"No." she said sadly once again holding out her hand for him to take.

******************************************************************************

"This is Mona's place." Tony observed looking around. "Why are we here?"

"See for yourself." Marie motioned towards the couch.

Tony gasped at what he saw. There sat Mona in a drab gray sweatsuit and she was...he couldn't believe it.... knitting?!

"Mona is knitting?!"

"Not only that she is...." before she could finish the bell on the oven dinged.

Tony watched in amazement and horror as Mona got up from the couch and went into the kitchen.

"She cooks too?!" What happened to the fun loving Mona? I mean I love to cook but cooking has never been Mona's idea of fun."

"Yeah, I know. But when you left Mona changed. But not just her. Everyone. "

"What do you mean?"

"Come with me."

********************************************************************

"So the two of you are here for a divorce?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Yes, Sir."

"Marie? Why is Sam here?"

"She's getting a divorce.' Marie said sadly.

"Wait a minute, that's not Matt."

"No, he was her 1st husband."

"First?!"

"Yeah, she is on her 4th divorce."

"Whoa!! hold on!!" Tony held up his hands. "She is on her 4th divorce?"

"Yes, and she isn't even 30 years old yet."

"But why? What happened?" he asked in bewilderment.

"Don't you get it?'

Tony shook his head.

"When you married Kathleen Sam lost all faith in love. She knew that you really loved Angela but instead chose Kathleen. After that she just didn't think that love mattered anymore."

"I made her feel like that?"

Her eyes on their daughter Marie nodded.

"But, that's not right. Love is important."

"Then why are you married to Kathleen? Do you love her?' she asked turning her gaze towards him.

"Well I. well you see...."

"That's what I thought. Come on let's go."

"But shouldn't we stay here and try to help?"

"There is nothing we can do for her Tony."

"But.." he protested.

"Tony there is more I have to show you."

"I'm so sorry Honey." Tony whispered to Sam before taking Marie's hand.

************************************************************  
Tony and Marie found themselves standing in the dirtiest and dingiest bar either one of them had ever seen.

"Hey barkeep!! Another beer!!"

Tony whipped his head around. That voice sounded like.... no it couldn't be!

"Marie that isn't Jonathon is it?"

"See for yourself."

Tony walked over and gasped when he saw him. His hair was unkempt and his eyes were bloodshot. "

"I think you've had enough buddy."

"Fine, I don't need your stinking beer anyway." Jonathon snapped and stood up immediately falling flat on his face.

"Someone needs to call this bum a cab." another patron observed.

"I'm on it. The sooner he is out of here the better."

"Marie what the hell happened to Jonathon?!"

"After you left he fell in with a bad crowd. Drugs, alcohol, you name it."

"What about school?"

"He quit."

"He quit?! Marie, he is 1 of the smartest kids I know. He could have been anything he wanted."

"Well after you left he lost all confidence in himself. Now all he does is spend his days either in a bar drinking or doing drugs."

"Marie, this isn't right."

"No, it isn't. But this is what happened and there is nothing you can do to change it. Come on we need to move on."

Taking one last look at the boy whom he had raised since he was 7 Tony sighed and once again took Marie's hand.

**********************************************  
Tony looked around. They were standing in the Bower Agency. People were bustling around in a frenzy but something felt different.

"Marie, what's the matter here?" Before she could answer he continued "I mean things don't feel right. They feel um I don't know." struggling to find the right words he looked to her for help.

"Cold?'

"Yeah that's it! The Bower Agency always felt warm and inviting."

"Of course it did. When Angela was in charge."

"When Angela was in charge?! Marie what is going on?!"

"Look at the sign Tony."

Tony looked over and about had a heart attack when he saw the sign. It no longer said the Bower Agency it said......

"Marie!! That sign can't be true!!"

"Well it is."

Tony was about to say more when he noticed two people walking into the room.

"And I want the coffee made before the meeting starts!"

"Yes sir."

"And make sure you call the hotel and tell them to give Mr Trapper the finest bottle of champagne, a fruit basket, and full use of the spa."

"Yes sir."

Tony watched in astonishment as Angela followed Jim Peterson around taking orders from him like she was his.....

"Marie, Why is Angela taking orders from that jerk?! And why does the sign say Peterson Advertising?!"

"He owns the business now."

"He what?! How the hell did that happen?!"

"After you left Angela lost all faith in herself. You were her rock Tony."

"But how did all this happen?" he asked in dismay gesturing around at the horrific scene before them.

"Well she started losing clients and her reputation started to tank. Jim stepped in and offered to help."

"Help?!" Tony scoffed. "The guy is a 2-faced weasel."

"Yeah, but at that point Angela didn't have any choice."

"So she sold him her business?" Tony asked sadly his eyes full of sorrow.

"Yeah."

"But why is she taking orders from him?"

"She's his personal secretary now."

"But why?"

"Well with her reputation being the way it is he didn't want any screw-ups."

"I can't believe this Marie!! Angela was the best in the business!!"

"Yes and look at her now."

Tony's heart sank as he watched Angela. She looked so dejected. So lost. Her eyes were devoid of any feelings.

Marie looked at Tony sadness filling her eyes. She knew that all that he had seen was a lot to take in. But he had to see it. It was the only way.

"Tony?" she said gently. "It's time to go."

"Where are we going now?" he asked his eyes still on Angela.

"I'm going to show you what your lives will be like if you choose Angela."

Taking one last look at Angela he turned to Marie and said. "I'm ready."

They walked hand in hand out of the room.


	8. Chapter 9

They found themselves standing in the house. Soft music came from the stereo while a delicious aroma wafted from the kitchen. The kitchen door swung open and Tony, although a little less shocked at seeing himself was still caught off guard. But there was something different this time. There was no tiredness and no lack of emotion. Instead Tony saw himself smiling. Giddy. Like a little boy who was excited for Christmas.

"Well, I certainly look happy don't I?"

"Yeah, you do" she smiled. "And here is the reason now."

Turning at the sound of the door opening Tony and Marie watched as Angela entered the house her eyes meeting Tony's. Smiles of happiness and contentment were mirrored on both their faces. Never taking their eyes off each other they met in the middle of the room in a sweet yet passionate embrace.

"So, how is my wifey?" Tony asked gently tucking a few stray pieces of hair behind her ear.

"I'm good, especially since..." she smiled a little smugly.

"You got it?!"

"Yes! Was there ever any doubt?"

"Not from me my love. Congratulations!!" he grinned and planted a kiss on her that made her blush.

"You know what the best part is?" he asked leading her to the couch and pulling her down into his lap.

"What?"

"That you beat that 2-faced weasel Jim Peterson."

"Tony!" she playfully swatted him. "That wasn't nice!"

"Oh come on admit it. You like no you **love **the fact that you won the account and Jim didn't."

"Well.....okay I will admit it."

"That's my girl." he smiled capturing her lips in another kiss.

"Are you two at it again?!" Tony and Marie had been so mesmerized by the scene before them they hadn't even noticed Mona entering the room.

"Get used to it Mone." Tony said grinning his boyish grin at his mother-in-law.

"Yeah get used to it Mother!" Angela said laughing.

"Well all right!! The hospital didn't switch babies on me!!"

"Mother!!"

"Daughter!!"

"Okay, okay ladies. Let's not ruin this happy mood we have going here."

"What are you two so happy about?" Mona asked sitting in the chair closet to the kitchen door.

"Well, I got the account!"

"Whoo hoo!! You beat that 2-faced weasel Jim Peterson!!"

"Did the two of you rehearse that?"

"Oh no of course not." Tony assured her sending Mona a wink.

"I saw that!!"

"We certainly look happy together." Tony said marveling at the scene before them

"Yeah, you do."

"So how long have we been married?"

"7 years."

"And Angela's business is going well I take it?"

"Very well and so is your career."

"Really? Where am I teaching at?"

"Ridgemont."

"Did I start right after I graduated?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Tony, I can't let you in on everything. You'll just have to wait and see."

"Hey guys!!"

"Hi everyone!!"

Tony and Marie turned at the sound of Sam and Jonathon's voices.

"Well look Mrs Micelli it's our darling children."

"Well look Jonathon it's our goofy parents who can't or should I say won't keep their hands off each other." Sam grinned noticing the way her Dad and Angela were intertwined on the sofa her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped firmly around her waist.

"At least Jen and I have a little more decorum." Jonathon laughed and sat down at the chair nearest to the door.

"Oh sure decorum!" Sam snickered sitting down at the opposite end of the couch. "Was that why her hair was all messed up when I visited you guys last week?" Sam asked loving the blush that came to Jonathon's face.

"That's my Grandson!! I'm so proud!!"

"Marie?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is Jen?"

"Don't you remember little Jenny Whittner?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course I do. Wait a minute how do you know about her?"

"Sam."

"Sam?"

"Well, I told you before that Sam talks to me. I remember her telling me about Jenny's crush on you."

"Uh yeah. That was a hard time between Jonathon and me." Tony sighed. "So anyway how did the 2 of them get reacquainted?"

"They both were attending NYU and one day they bumped into each other and well the rest is history."

"What about Sam? She hasn't been married 4 times has she?"

"No, just once."

"To Matt right?"

"No, Hank."

"Hank? Who is Hank? And what happened to Matt?"

"Sam and Matt broke up and she met Hank a year later."

"So Sam is married to this Hank guy?"

"Yeah, and the funny thing is they got married before you and Angela did."

"Why is that so funny?"

"Come on Tony, the two of you weren't exactly speedy in your relationship." she said chuckling at the pout that he gave her.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry." she said still laughing.

"So anyway..... Are Sam and Jonathon doing okay?"

"Oh yeah, Sam is happily married and working with Angela."

"She is?" Tony asked smiling at the thought.

"Yes, and Jonathon and Jen are engaged. She is working with her Dad at his Dentist's office and Jonathon is interning at National Geographic."

"It's good knowing that they are both doing well and are happy."

"Yeah, it is." she smiled. "Come on we have more to see."

Taking one last longing look at the happy family scene before them he once again took her hand.

"Marie where are we?"

They were standing in a large, beautifully, decorated room filled with happy and smiling people. Tables were covered with silver table cloths with vases of single pink roses on top. Balloons in either silver or pink were tied to each chair. The overall effect was simple yet charming.

Smiling she pointed out the banner that hung over the head table:

**HAPPY 25TH ANNIVERSARY TONY AND ANGELA!!!**

Tony gasped when he saw it and turned to look at Marie.

"We've been married for 25 years?"

"Yes, hence the silver."

"And of course Angela just had to have her pink." he smiled softly.

Marie smiled back at him and then at the future Tony who was whispering something in future Angela's ear. Whatever he was saying was making her smile and blush and giggle like a young school girl. Ignoring their 200 guests he gently but passionately kissed her. Cheers and whistles shook them out of their reverie and they reluctantly broke their kiss but still stayed close to each other.

"Speech!! Speech!!"

Angela smiled at Tony giving him a wink and a nudge. Smiling back at her he rose from his seat his glass of champagne in one hand and Angela's hand in the other.

"Okay, okay everyone!! Ummm first of all I and my lovely wife" he said gazing at Angela with complete adoration. "Would like to thank the staff here. The food is delicious, the service has been top notch, and we appreciate all the hard work that you all did into making this evening so special."

Clearing his throat he continued "We would also like to thank our family and friends for being here. We know that a lot of you were there from the beginning of our very strange, complicated and yet loving and enduring relationship and well we just hope that it was worth the trip because it definitely was for us."

"And now I would like to thank this beautiful lady here on my left. You are my Angel and the light of my life and I love you more and more every day...."

"Awww thank you Tony. But don't you think it would be more appropriate to thank your wife instead of your Mother-in-law?" Mona quipped.

"Ha Ha Mona!!! Ladies and Gentlemen my incorrigible mother-in-law!!"

Cheers went up as Mona waved to the crowd clearly loving being in the limelight.

"Now if I may continue?" Tony asked when every one quieted down. "As I was saying to my beautiful wife here. I love you more and more every day. Thank you for giving me the honor and privilege of being your husband. These past 25 years being married to you have been filled with love and joy and I cherish every day we are together but most of all I cherish you." Raising his glass of champagne he continued "So here's to you: my adorable, beautiful, sweet, amazing, incredible, beautiful wife!!" Tears streaming down her face Angela stood up wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him with what can only be described as true love. Once again the crowd went wild.

"Way to go Angela!!" Mona said winking at her daughter.

"Well I guess now it is my turn. " Angela said breaking their kiss. "Tony, I love you. For all these years you have been my rock. You have stood by me in good times as well as in bad times. Sometimes I just can't believe that we have been married for 25 amazing and wonderful years." Smiling through her tears she continued. "And I want you to know that every day we have been married have been the happiest days of my life."

"I love you Boss." Tony said raising her hand to his lips.

"I love you too honey-bunny." She said and gently pressed her lips to his.

Once again totally oblivious to the crowd around them they shared a sweet yet passionate kiss.

"Okay now I think it is time for this all to happy couple to get on the dance floor and show all of you with 2 left feet how it's done!!" Sam said rising out of her chair after the crowd had stopped cheering.

"Yeah, come on guys. Show everyone how it's done!" Jonathon said rising as well.

Setting down his glass and taking her hand he led her out onto the dance floor while the band their song. *It Had To Be You*

"Dance with her Tony." Marie urged.

"What?" he looked at her in confusion. "Um technically I am dancing with her."

"No Tony. YOU dance with her."

Giving her another confused look he walked up to his future self and future Angela and watched them as they danced.

"Marie? How am I supposed to..."

"Take her hand Tony."

"Marie, I..."

"Take her hand Tony" she said firmly.

Shrugging his shoulders he slipped his hand into Angela's and immediately present and future Tony became one. He looked into her eyes and saw love and adoration in them. Pulling her closer to him he closed his eyes completely lost in the moment.

Marie smiled at the 2 of them and wished that they could in fact stay like that forever but she knew it was impossible. There was more he had to see.

"Tony, you need to open your eyes. There are few things you need to see."

Tony opened his eyes and was astounded by what he saw.


	9. Chapter 10

Images of the two of them over the years swirled around the room. He saw the 1st day when he applied for the housekeeping job, the kiss on her birthday, the time she made the speech about how he was the best thing that had ever happened to her when he was running for PTA President, the time when they were stranded at the crappy motel at the Camp when they discovered that they had shared their 1st kiss together, their trip to Mexico, their "2nd Anniversary" when he had developed appendicitis. Feeling a lump in his throat he continued watching the memories. He saw the two of them dancing in the living room after he had decorated it so that she could finally have her prom. He saw the 2 of them atop the billboard, the 2 of them in jail, the cute look on her face when she tricked him into buying her last two tee-shirts, their 1st yet disastrous date at the comedy club, the time that she talked in her sleep, their trip to Jamaica where they had shared a emotional and passionate kiss and the conversation that followed.

Suddenly the room became dark when he realized that he was now watching the two of them in the kitchen and in the study after the night he had spent with Kathleen. The tears in her eyes and the despondent look on her face made him shiver with remorse.

"Marie? I don't have to see this part do I?"

"Yes, you do. You have to see it all."

Sighing he looked again at the images of that fateful day. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger as he watched the two of them trying desperately to talk to each other and at the same time trying to maintain their friendship despite his betrayal. The images faded and he breathed a temporary sigh of relief until he saw what came next. There he was making a complete fool of himself following Angela on her date with Christopher. He had tried to convince himself that he was only looking out for his best friend whom he was afraid was moving way to fast. He just couldn't admit what it really was. What he was really feeling. Doing so would have meant opening up his heart. He wasn't ready for that, not at the time. It was much easier to date another woman. A woman that he knew deep down he would never love. That way he could protect his heart.

The images changed again and he saw the two of them in New Mexico sitting in Matt's porch swing. Equal looks of frustration were present on both their faces. They were at a loss on how how to get through to Sam. Suddenly Angela had noticed the breathtaking sunset and for a moment he too was completely mesmerized. Gazing at the image now before him Tony recalled the mixture of feelings that had been coursing through him at the moment. Worry and frustration over Sam, happiness that the whole family was together, guilt that he still felt whenever he looked into her eyes, and peace just sitting there with her watching the sunset.

Once again the scene changed before him and he saw Angela on stage at the Down Beat. His shy, reserved best friend was suddenly anything but. He had been shocked and yet completely mesmerized. He saw himself pulling her into the alley where the 2 of them had talked about Angela's complete 360 degree turnaround.

"You're either in 1st or 5th and there are a lot of great gears in between." Tony smiled as he recalled what he had said to her.

The images swirled around him from their very 1st day to more recent times. Tears welled in his eyes and a soft smile lit up his face at the various memories.

"I can't believe that I..."

"You can't believe what?"

Startled Tony realized that Angela was talking to him. He quickly glanced around the room and noticed that the images were now gone. He was back in the room with Angela looking at him with love and a little confusion.

"I uh, I can't believe that I'm here."

"Well I would hope you'd be here." she giggled. "After all I wouldn't want to be at my 25th Anniversary with another man."

"No, I guess that wouldn't be right would it?" he asked laughing with her.

"You know you do have a good point. It's hard to believe that we have been married for 25 years. Sometimes it seems like I just opened my front door and there you were."

"Oh yeah and you were as beautiful as always."

"Beautiful?" she laughed. "Tony, I was in my bathrobe, no make up, and my hair was up in a towel."

"Well that is true but you were still beautiful." he said softly caressing her cheek.

"You are always so sweet you know that?" she said shyly.

"Well I try."

Putting her head on his shoulder they continued dancing lost in their own world.

"I still remember what you said to me on our honeymoon."

"Well, I'm sure I said a lot of things. You know me and how I love to talk." he said chuckling breathing in the strawberry scent of her hair.

"There was one part in particular."

"Really? What was it?"

"It was when we were walking down the beach. I remember we stopped to watch the sun set. You took my hand in yours and said that you loved me. You told me that you never wanted me to..... " Unable to go on he finished for her.

"I said never doubt it. Never question it. And always remember that I love you."

"You remember." she said taking her head off his shoulder and smiling softly.

"Of course I do. And I meant every word I said. I still do."

"I love you Tony.'

"I love you too Angela."

"Angela?! Angela?!"

The room was now empty except for Marie and him.

"Marie? What happened?"

"You saw all you needed to see. Now the rest is up to you." Taking his hand in hers she asked gently "Do you know what you're going to do?"

"Yeah, I do. I need to make things right. I need..."

"Yes?" she urged him to continue.

"I need to tell Angela that I love her because I do." he smiled.

Marie smiled. "I'm happy for you Tony. The 2 of you deserve to be happy."

"But what if it's to late?"

"Tony, it will only be to late if you don't say anything."

"You always were wise you know that?' he said smiling at her.

"I know." she smiled.

"Marie?"

"Yes?"

"How did I know what I said to her on our honeymoon? I mean I know that I was there. But technically it was "future Tony."

"It's simple Tony. You knew the words because they came from your heart."

Tony smiled at her and said "Yeah, I bet that's it."

Well, it's time for me to go."

"Thank you Marie. For everything. I love you."

"I love you too Tony."

Tony gently kissed Marie. It was a sweet kiss of first love.

"Good bye Marie."

"Good bye Tony."

He watched as she walked away disappearing in a soft mist.

Tony found himself back in his room. Everything was now crystal clear. His confusion was gone. He now knew what he needed to do.  
He had to make things right. He climbed back into bed but found himself unable to sleep. He climbed back out and put on his robe. Quietly opening his door he slipped downstairs in search of something to drink. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of lemonade taking it with him into the living room.  
Setting it down on the coffee table he went and got out the family photo albums. He sat down with the albums and got lost in the memories as he flipped through the pages. Pictures of Sam and Jonathon when they were younger, Birthdays, Christmas, Vacations. There were 2 pictures though that he particularly loved.  
The 1st one was of Jonathon and him. It was their 2nd Christmas together. Jonathon had wanted to put the star on top but of course was to short. So Tony had put him on his shoulders so he could reach it. Angela had snapped the picture saying that the 2 of them looked so cute. The 2nd one was of Angela and Sam after her prom with Jesse. They had stayed up all night waiting for her and when Sam had come home she had been slightly annoyed but secretly touched that they had cared enough to wait up for her. She and Angela had been sitting on the couch Angela's arms around her as they talked about the prom. The sight before him had been so loving that he just couldn't resist taking a picture.  
Flipping towards the back page he noticed the last two pictures. They had been taken in New Mexico. The first one was of the five of them. Mona had complained that they hadn't had a family picture taken for a long time. So Sam had asked Matt to take their picture. There the five of them stood. All smiling at the camera, their arms wrapped around each other. The next picture was of Angela and him. The two of them hadn't even noticed that the rest of the family had quietly slipped away so that only the two of them were left. Taking the camera from Matt Mona had smiled and snapped their picture. And there the two of them were. Their arms around each other smiling into the camera albeit a little softly and shyly. Taking the picture out of the album he gently traced Angela's face.  
How could any woman look so beautiful in a pair of jeans, a pink blouse, with her hair in a pony tail? But Angela did. She always did. Tony smiled at Angela's image, slipped the picture back in the album, put the albums away and went back upstairs hoping to catch a few ZZZZZ's before morning came.


	10. Chapter 11

"Okay Kathleen. I'll see you in a while. Bye."

As Sam entered the kitchen she was greeted by these words. Turning her head so her Dad wouldn't see her she made a face and went to the cupboard to get a glass out of the refrigerator. She sat down at the table and poured herself a glass of O.J. As he hung up the phone and turned to look at her she noticed with disdain and disgust that he had a happy smile on his face.

Tony was indeed happy. After all the time being confused about whether or not he should move in with Kathleen he now knew what the right choice was. Deep down he had always known. He had just been to scared. Just like he had also been to scared to admit that he loved Angela. How could he have denied it for so long? She was everything to him. The visions that Marie had shown him had been a wake up call. Of course there wasn't a 1oo% guarantee that what he had seen in the future would actually come true. The only thing that mattered was getting Angela back and telling her that he loved her. He just hoped it wasn't to late. Shaking himself out of his thoughts he greeted his daughter.

"Morning Sweetheart." Tony said smiling.

"Morning Dad." she returned sullenly

"Sam? Honey are you okay?"

"Just great Dad." she replied. But it was obvious to Tony that she was upset.

"Sam you seem upset. Is anything the matter?"

"What could be the matter Dad? I just heard you on the phone telling Kathleen that you would be seeing her in a while. You have this goofy grin on your face. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what is going on."

"What do you think is going on?"

"You're going to tell Kathleen that you are going to move in with her." she said taking a drink of her orange juice.

"Well actually..."

"I can't believe you Dad!!" she interrupted him. "How can you do this to us? How can you do this to Angela?'

"Sam.."

"I hope you're not expecting me to be happy about this."

"Sam, I...."

"I gotta go. Have a nice move." she snapped and left the kitchen.

He wanted to go after her but he had to talk to Kathleen first. He knew that before he asked Angela for another chance and before he told her he loved her he had to talk to Kathleen first. He had to break things off with her so he could be with Angela. He didn't want any hangups from the past or any horrible mistakes that he had made to cloud any chance he might have with Angela. He wanted to be free to be with Angela. After everything that he had put her through and after everything she had had to endure these last few months-years she deserved nothing less than for him to give her his whole heart.

Sighing heavily he grabbed his keys and went out the back door.

Sam was angry. She couldn't believe that he was actually going to go through with it. She grabbed the pillows off the couch and threw them to the floor in frustration.

"Sam? Honey? What's wrong?"

She looked up and saw Angela at the bottom of the stairs looking at her with concern.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Angela replied crossing over to her. "Come on sit down."

They sat down on the couch in silence.

"Ummm Sam. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I can't tell you Angela." How could she tell her? This was going to crush her.

"You can tell me anything. You know that."

"This I can't."

"Did you have a fight with Matt?"

"No."

"Is school okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have a falling out with Bonnie?"

"No."

"Did Jonathon do something to embarrass you?" she chuckled.

"No."

"Sam..."

"I just can't believe him." Sam said angrily.

"Who?"

"Umm nobody." Sam said sadly.

"Sam obviously something is bothering you. I want to help you. I just don't understand why you won't let me."

"Because I don't want you to be hurt."

"Why would I be hurt?"

"It's about Dad."

"Oh, did you have a fight?"

"Sort of."

"Okay, why don't you start at the beginning."

"I overheard Dad on the phone. He was talking to Kathleen."

"I see." Angela said quietly.

"I think he is going to tell her that he is going to move in with her."

"Oh." Angela's expression fell.

"You see? This is why I didn't want to tell you." Sam lamented. "I knew it would hurt you."

"I appreciate that you wanted to spare my feelings. But...."

"How can he do this?" Sam snapped.

"Sam, it's your Father's decision."

"Aren't you going to do anything to stop him?"

"What am I supposed to do? Tony is an adult. "

"But, don't you care? I thought you loved him."

"I do."

"Then why aren't you going to do something? Why are you letting him go?" Sam stood up frustrated.

"Because it's obvious that he wants to be with her."

"So you're not going to fight for him? You're just going to let her win?"

"Sam, this isn't a contest."

"I know." Sam said with tears in her eyes. "I just wish he wasn't doing this."

"So do I." Angela said sadly.

Sam sat back down on the couch and laid her head on Angela's shoulder. They sat there quietly for a few minutes.

"Well, I know this much. If Dad marries her there is no way I am going to their wedding."

"Yes you will."

"No, I..."

"Yes, you will." Angela said firmly. "He is your Father."

"But...."

"No buts Sam!!!" Above everything else we are a family. And no matter what we will always be there for each other. How would you feel if he refused to go to your wedding?"

"I'd hate it."

"Well there you go."

Taking her head off her shoulder Sam looked Angela in the eye.

"Angela?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you be able to handle it? Will you be able to watch them get married?"

"It won't be easy." Angela admitted. "But he is my friend. My best friend. So I will go to his wedding. I will wish them both a lifetime of happiness and then I will come home, cry my eyes out and eat a gallon of ice cream."

"Would you like some company?" Sam asked quietly taking Angela's hand in hers.

"If it's you, definitely."


	11. Chapter 12

As he drove to Kathleen's Tony was filled with mixed feelings. He knew that she would be hurt but he also knew that breaking up with her was the right thing to do. Not only for Angela's sake but for hers as well. It had crossed his mind the night before when he had returned to bed that he had been cheating Kathleen out of the right of being in a relationship with a man who would really and truly love her and wanted to be with her and only her. That man wasn't him and it had never been. He had just been going through the motions these past months. He now knew that he should have never started this relationship in the first place. It had been a mistake. The biggest mistake of his life. Now he was going to make up for it. But he knew that it wouldn't be easy. Breaking up with someone never was, especially when they had no idea. But if he wanted to be with Angela he had to break things off with Kathleen.

He pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building and found a parking space. He turned off the ignition, took a deep breath and got out of his jeep. As he walked towards Kathleen's apartment his nerves were all jumbled. This was something that needed to be done but it wouldn't be easy.

"Well here goes nothing."

He knocked on her door and immediately it opened.

"Tony!! I'm so glad you're here!!" Kathleen exclaimed and threw her arms around him.

"Hi Kathleen." he said removing himself from her embrace.

"Come in." she smiled.

He entered her apartment and looked around. How could he have ever thought for 1 second that he should move in here? It was a nice enough place but it wasn't home. He already had a home and he wouldn't let anyone or anything take it away from him. Angela, Mona, and the kids were his home. Their house was his home. He had foolishy taken it and them for granted. But not anymore.

"Sit down. Do you want anything to drink?"

"No. No thanks. Ummm Kathleen we need to talk."

"Okay. Is this why you called me?"

"Yeah, it is."

They sat down on her couch. He drew another deep breath. He regretted the fact that he was about to hurt her but he knew in the long run it was for the best.

"This isn't easy for me to say. So I'm just going to come out and say it."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I can't move in here with you."

"Oh that's okay. I understand." she smiled.

He couldn't believe it. She wasn't upset at all. In fact she seemed really calm about it. Her next words belied his thoughts.

"I mean I've been thinking the same as you. It would be much better if we found a place of our own. You know a place that doesn't have my history or your history. But a place that would really and truly be ours right from the start."

"Kathleen I.."

"So what do you think we should get? Another apartment? A house?"

"Kathleen, I think you misunderstood me."

"I did? Then what are talking.... Oh my gosh!!" her eyes filled with tears.

"Look Kathleen I'm..."

"Oh Tony!!" she threw her arms around him. "I can't believe this. I've never been happier."

Happy she was happy? What was going on here?

"Oh I just spoiled it didn't I? I'm sorry I guess I just got excited."

"About what?" he asked in confusion.

"Oh come on Tony, I know why you don't want to move in here. You are an old-fashioned guy and you don't think it is right for the 2 of us to live together before we're married." she said smiling.

"No, that isn't it."

"Then what is going on?"

"The reason I can't move in here with you is because I can't see you anymore."

"What? What do you mean you can't see me anymore?" her voice suddenly took on a hard edge.

Tony sighed. "Kathleen, you have to know that I never meant to hurt you. But..."

"But what?!" she snapped. "Does this break-up have anything to do with Angela?!" she asked her voice dripping with disdain as she spoke Angela's name.

"I'm not going to lie to you. Yes, she does."

Kathleen got up from the couch in a fit of rage. She couldn't believe it!! He was dumping her for that stuck-up, boring dish rag?!

"I can't believe you Tony!! You are going to dump me so you can play house with your boring, pathetic stick-in-the-mud boss?!"

"Kathleen..."

"No, come on and tell me Tony!! Why in the hell are dumping me for that drab piece of boring and pathetic...."

"THAT"S ENOUGH!!!" he roared.

She looked at him in shock. She had never seen or heard him so angry. Before she had a chance to reply he continued.

"Look, I know that you are upset and you have every right to be. And I understand that you are hurt and are angry with me." He stood up and continued speaking in a low voice. "But don't you ever and I mean EVER talk about Angela like that again!!"

"Oh well isn't that sweet. You're sticking up for her." Kathleen rolled her eyes in disgust. "I guess this is the part where I should be all noble and wish the 2 of you well?!"

"No, I don't expect you to. Like I said you have every right to be angry."

"Gee thanks." she said sarcastically.

"But the truth is I never should have started dating you in the first place. That was a big mistake."

"A mistake? I'm a mistake?! Oh Tony I'm sorry!! I'm so damn sorry for ruining your life!!" she yelled.

"That's not what I meant." he sighed.

"Then what did you mean Tony?! You just said that dating me was a big mistake."

"Yeah, it was. It was my mistake. Not yours. You and I are all wrong for each other. What we have is a lie."

"A lie? Our relationship is a lie?! Until recently our relationship has been pretty good. At least from my point of view. That is until the night you took me to that restaurant so you could spy on Angela."

"Yeah, and I am sorry about that."

"So you say. So tell me this Tony. Why is our relationship one big lie?"

"Because our feelings aren't genuine."

"Yes, they are."

"No they're not. Can't you see that? What we have is a farce. It's fake."

"Fake? My feelings for you aren't fake! So what are you saying Tony? That you were just going through the motions with me? Was I just some stand in because you were to afraid to be with Angela?!"

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Please spare me your phony sympathy."

"I mean it."

She folded her arms and looked away from him. She was boiling over with anger. After a few minutes she looked back at him.

"So tell me something Tony. How do you know that Angela wants to be with you?"

"I just do."

"Maybe that was true before but how do you know now? HMMM? How do you know she hasn't moved on? For all you know you could tell her that you love her and she could turn you down flat."

"That's a chance I have to take." he said quietly.

"So you are going to throw away what once was a sure thing with us for a maybe thing with Angela?!" she asked incredulously.

"We were never a sure thing we were a...."

"A lie. Yeah, sure we were one, big fat lie." she said shaking her head.

"I uh, I think I better go now."

"Yeah, I think that is a good idea."

He walked to the door and placed his hand on the door knob. Before he opened it he turned to her and said: "I wish you well Kathleen. I hope that some day you find the man who will love you 100%"

"I thought I had."

"I'm sorry you felt like that. I'm sorry I led you on."

"Just go Tony!! Just get the hell out of here!!!"

He did as she asked and exited her apartment. He leaned back against her door and exhaled a deep breath. He had been right. That hadn't been easy. But breaking up with Kathleen would be a piece of cake compared to what was coming up. He walked back to his jeep, climbed in and started for home.

As he drove he hoped and prayed that he would find the right words to say to Angela. He hoped that she would find it in her heart to forgive him and give him another chance.

But most of all? Most of all he hoped he wasn't to late.


	12. Chapter 13

*This chapter takes place at the same time as chapter 12*

The words were blurred on her computer. She tried to read them but her tears prevented her from doing so. There was no use in trying to work anymore. She was to upset. Her heart was breaking and right now coming up with a slogan for her newest ad campaign just wasn't important. She saved what work she had done, turned off her computer, and left her study. She entered the living room and felt a cold shudder move through her. She knew the cold wasn't from the house itself but from the news that Tony was indeed moving out. Ever since Sam had told her she had had this cold feeling. She felt cold. She felt alone. Her best friend, the man whom she loved with her whole heart was leaving her. She was sad, angry, and confused. But most of all she was hurt.

Everywhere she looked she saw memories. Memories of the two of them. Good memories. Bad memories. Funny memories. Bittersweet memories. She glanced at the front door where it had all began. The door that she had opened to invite into her home a man and his young daughter. A man whom she had initially hired as her housekeeper but had soon become so much more. He had become her confidant, a co-parent, her movie partner, a fellow tea drinker. But most of all her friend. Her best friend. And now he was leaving her and taking with him any chance of a romantic relationship.

Sighing heavily she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. But the memories continued. Suddenly she felt tired and all she wanted to do was sleep. She didn't care that it was way to early to go to bed. All she wanted to do was change into her pajamas, crawl into her warm bed, and sleep. Turning around she left the kitchen and walked through the living room. As she climbed the stairs tears fell from her eyes and down her cheeks. Arriving at her door she started to go in but instead turned and looked at Tony's door.

"Good night Tony."

"Good Night Angela."

They had always said good night to each other. When she went on business trips she always made sure to call home so that she could say good night to every one. And when he was out of the house as well, like when he had moved into Mona's apartment or when he had stayed at the top of the billboard he had called to say good night. Except for one night. That night. The night that would change her life forever. He hadn't said good night to her then. And ever since then there had been times where they didn't say good night. All those nights he spent at Kathleen's. In a way that hurt her more. Maybe because when he said good night to her she knew he was home and not over at Kathleen's. Like just for that one night he was still "hers." Of course they slept in different bedrooms but it was comforting knowing that he was across the hall instead of across town. She crossed over to his room and opened the door. There was something that she always did the nights he spent over at Kathleen's. No one knew about it. It was her secret and it would stay that way. Walking into his room she went over to his bed and laid down. Somehow doing so made her feel less alone. It made her feel closer to him. She could look at his belongings: his robe hanging on the back of his closet door, his baseball trophys, pictures of the kids and know that he was still living with her. That there was still a chance. That when he was done broadening his horizons he would come back to her. But none of that was going to happen now. He had definitely broadened his horizons. Unfortunately, he had found them with another woman. Overwhelmed with sadness she got off his bed, smoothed out the blankets, fluffed up the pillows and left his room. She stepped out into the hallway and whispered "Good night Tony" closing his door firmly almost like she was closing the door to her heart.

Back in her room she took off her clothes and slipped into a pair of mint green silk pajamas. Climbing into bed she pulled the blankets up to her chin. Once again tears slid down her cheeks onto her pillow. She felt a pair of arms around her but didn't turn around to see who it was. She knew.

"Oh Angela sweetheart. I'm so sorry. Sam told me." Mona said smoothing Angela's hair.

"He chose her." Angela whispered. "He chose her over me."

"I know Baby. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better."

"There isn't. There isn't anything anyone could say. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. " Angela said crying harder.  
After a few minutes her tears subsided.

"I'm so tired." she said quietly.

"Then close your eyes and go to sleep." Mona said softly.

Angela did just that and soon drifted off to sleep. Holding her sleeping daughter Mona was overcome with despair. She had never thought that things would get this far with Tony and Kathleen. She dreaded the thought of him moving out. She dreaded the thought over what it would do to the family. But most all she dreaded the fact that Tony and Angela would never be together.


	13. Chapter 14

Tony arrived home feeling like a weight had been lifted. He never realized how difficult it was pretending to be interested in another person when you were in love with another. It was exhausting and he was greatly relieved that the charade was finally over. But his problems weren't He still had to talk to Angela. To tell her that he loved her and beg her forgiveness. He knew it wasn't going to be easy. But he was going to do it. He needed to. For himself as well as for her. He didn't want to spend another second pretending that he didn't love her. He had spent way to much time hiding and pretending. But, not anymore. Now was the time. Time to tell the woman he loves that he loved her. He took a deep breath and pushed open the kitchen door.

"Hello Tony."

"Hey Mone. " he greeted her. "Have you seen Angela?"

"She's upstairs."

"Thanks, I need to talk to her." he said heading for the stairs.

"Wait, I need to talk to you first."

"But, I really need to speak to Angela." he protested.

"I know. That's why I need to talk to you first. Sit down."

Even though he was dying to talk to Angela he could tell from Mona's expression that what she had to say was important. It was very rare that Mona was serious about anything.

"So, what's up?" he asked sitting down on the couch.

"Sam, told me that you went to see Kathleen. I know what you plan to do."

"Mona, I..."

"Please let me finish."

At his nod she continued. "I know that you can't help who you want to be with or who you fall in love with."

"No, you can't." he said softly.

"And I know that you have to talk to Angela.

"Yeah. I do."

"And it won't be easy."

"No, it won't." he sighed heavily.

"Tony, all I ask is that you let her down easy. Please don't hurt her more than she already is."

"I never meant to hurt her Mona. I swear."

"I know Tony." she assured him. "But, the fact of the matter is you did."

Tony looked at the floor. He had no words to say. She was right.

Mona's heart broke for him. It broke for Angela. She wish there was something she could say or do to help them.

She took his hand in hers in silent comfort.

"Hey."

He heard her voice and looked up. His heart broke when he saw her. It was obvious that she had been crying. All he wanted to do was go to her and hold her and kiss her tears away. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have hurt this amazing woman?

"Well, I'll let you two talk." Mona said. She squeezed his hand and went over to Angela and softly brushed her hair back. She gazed at the two of them and exited out the back door.

"Ummm Angela. I uh I need to talk to you." he said nervously.

"Okay." she said softly and sat down on the couch pulling her legs up to her chest.

"This isn't easy for me to say because I know that I've hurt you." Clearing his throat he continued. "And I'm sorry about that. You have no idea how much. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it up to you. I wish.." He took a deep breath. "I wish it had never come to this. I wish that we no that I could go back. If I could I never would have done what I did. We wouldn't be in this mess. We wouldn't be in this situation. " He paused once again trying desperately to find the right words.

"Angela, I'm not moving in with Kathleen. I'm not going to see her anymore. I shouldn't have started seeing her in the first place. I know that now. I wish that I would have known then. I was scared. I was scared of our friendship changing, I was scared that I would mess things up if we took our relationship any farther. So, I took the cowards way out. I thought, I foolishly thought that if I got involved with another woman I could forget my feelings for you. But, I couldn't. I can't. I don't want to.  
Not anymore." He took another deep breath. *This is it Micelli. The moment of truth.* he said silently to himself.

"Angela, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. If you give me another chance I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."

He waited with baited breath for her response. She had kept her head down throughout his confession and hadn't spoken a single word. Taking a chance he reached for her hand and was crestfallen when she pulled it away.

He watched in despair as she got off the couch. She didn't say anything. She didn't even look at him. He watched as she walked towards the stairs. For a second he was afraid that she was going to leave. He held his breath as he watched her and let it out slowly when she turned away from the stairs and walked over to the desk. She grasped the chair in her hands. He waited for her to say something . Nothing, nothing was more important than this moment. He saw her take a deep breath and wipe her hand across her eyes. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she spoke.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"How could you not know?"


	14. Chapter 15

They looked at each other as her question hung in the air like the proverbial elephant in the room. He swallowed hard and walked towards her stopping in front of her.

"That is, that's a good question."

"I'd really appreciate an answer." she said quietly.

"Well I guess that deep down I always knew that I loved you. But like I said I was just afraid to..."

"No Tony." she vehemently shook her head. "How could you not know if it were over with Kathleen?!"

He looked in her eyes and saw sadness, pain, but most of all anger. Her words and her expression cut him deep. He was about to answer when she spoke again.

"How could you tell me you didn't know if it were over? " she cried as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "How could you break my heart like that? How could you choose her over me?!?!" the tears fell from her eyes down her cheeks.

"Angela.."

"You had a choice Tony!! You had the choice to leave the hotel room but you didn't!! You had the choice to say that it was over with her, but once again you didn't!!" her voice shook with anger and pain.

"Angela I...."

"What about Jamaica? I thought that after our talk we were building something. That we were, that we.." unable to go on she walked past him stopping at the fireplace. She looked down into the fireplace. She felt her anger building. These past few months she had been so careful to keep her anger to herself. But now for some reason she couldn't. Not anymore.

Tony watched in despair and heartache. He could see her body shaking. On instinct he went to her again but before he reached her she turned around.

"What am I supposed to now Tony?' she asked rubbing the tears off her face. "Am I supposed to forget the fact that you were considering moving in with her?! Am I supposed to forget the fact that all the times you went out with her, all the times you stayed overnight at her place my heart broke all over again? Am I supposed to forget the time I came home and saw the 2 of you kissing on my couch? I mean my God Tony it was bad enough knowing that when you stayed at her place that the 2 of you were, were. ......" unable to finish she looked down. After a few moments she looked back up. "But to see it in my own house. To see the 2 of you..."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I hate myself for hurting you. You are the last person in the world besides Sam that I would ever want to hurt. But, I did and I'm truly sorry."

She could see that he was indeed sorry. But, it didn't make the hurt he had caused her to go through any less painful.

The room grew quiet as they each struggled to find something to say. After a few minutes Angela spoke up.

"You know after our talk in Jamaica I would have this daydream. We would be walking hand in hand down this beautiful country road. Talking and laughing. Birds were singing and the sun was shining. It was so beautiful Tony. So peaceful. It was just the two of us. We were so happy. The daydream felt so real that I could actually hear the birds. I could actually feel your hand in mine. And we both knew that we were building towards something. That even though it would take awhile we would eventually reach our destination. But then Kathleen came along and you let go of my hand and took hers. You left me all alone on that road and went off with her. How could you Tony? Why did you?"

"I was stupid. I was scared." he said in desperation. "But, I thought you were doing okay. I mean after all you had Peter and Andy.."

"I didn't want them Tony!! I wanted you! Andy and Peter no matter how nice they were and no matter how much they tried to make me happy they couldn't. Because you already had my heart. You had it and you broke it." she cried. "Why Tony? Why did you keep on seeing her? Why did you choose her?! What did I do that was so wrong? Was it something that I said?" New tears fell down her face once again. He went over to her and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and gently ran his hands through her hair and up and down her back. He walked her over to the couch and sat down pulling her into his lap. She put her head on his shoulder tears still slipping down her face.

"You didn't say or do anything wrong." he assured her. "I did. I was the one who was wrong. I was the one who messed up. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make these past few months disappear. But I can't. All I can do is promise to love you for the rest of our lives. I do love you. I love you with all my heart. I'm just sorry that it took all this to make me realize it."

He continued holding her close as she cried. He felt her shiver a bit so he reached for the blanket on the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. He gently kissed her on her forehead and then softly whispered in her ear." I love you my beautiful Angela. Please tell me that it's not to late for us."


	15. Chapter 16

He waited for her answer as he held her close. The only sounds coming from her was the occasional sniffle. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief and gently wiped her tears away. He wished she would say something but he didn't want to rush her. She had to do this on her own. So he continued holding her breathing in her sweet scent. If he thought sadly if she tells him that it is to late for them he would always have this moment. This memory of holding her. It would keep him warm on those potential lonely days and nights ahead. He heard her sigh and pulled her even closer to him.

She in turn was a bundle of emotions. She was relieved that the whole mess with Kathleen was finally over. But, there was something else. Something that was holding her back. Something that was preventing her from telling him what he wanted and needed to hear. It wasn't anger. Yes, she was angry at him. Her outburst was proof enough of that. But, there was something else. All she knew that until she could figure out what it was it wouldn't be right or fair to tell him that she forgave him or that she loved him. She needed time. Time to sort things out. She slipped out of his arms and slid to the other end of the couch causing both of them to feel like they had just lost something special.

"Angela?" his voice cracked.

She could hear the pain in his voice. She could actually feel his heart breaking and it broke hers. She got off the couch and turned away from him knowing that if she looked into his eyes all her defenses would go down. She couldn't do that. It would be so easy to just forgive and forget but there was still that something that was holding her back. Until she knew and understood what the problem was she couldn't be with him.

He got off the couch as well. His heart was thumping so loud he was sure she could hear it. The air was crackling with electricity.

She turned around and saw him looking at her with a sad expression on his face. It broke her heart seeing him like that but she couldn't be with him just yet- not until she knew and dealt with whatever was bothering her.

"Tony, I'm sorry but I can't...."

"No, please Angela." She could hear the panic in his voice. "Please don't tell me it's to late." He walked over to her and without another word he pulled her to him. She let herself get lost in his arms. *For a moment. Just a moment* she said to herself. Her eyes filled with tears.

He felt her tears on his shoulder and pulled her even closer to him. He felt his eyes welling up as well. He hardly ever cried. He always tried to present himself as macho-in control Tony. Sure there were times in the past when he did cry: his parents' deaths, marrying and losing Marie, the day Sam was born. But other than those times he always made sure that everyone thought that he was in control. But, in this moment none of that mattered.

"Angela...." his voice cracked with emotion.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. Equal expressions of pain and despair were mirrored in their faces.

"Tony, I can't be with you. Not now. I'm sorry."

"Angela? Isn't there anything I can say or do?" he pleaded.

"No, there isn't. "

"Is it... are you saying that it's to late for us?"

"I don't know Tony. You are the one person in the world I thought would never hurt me....... "

"But, I did." he said sadly. "I did and I'm so sorry."

"I know." she said softly. "But, I just need some time."

He pulled her to him once again. He just needed to hold her one more time. He breathed in her scent. She let herself get lost in his embrace. After a few minutes she broke his heart again by her next words.

"Tony," she spoke his name so softly like a cool summer breeze. "Please let me go."

The double meaning wasn't lost on him as he reluctantly let her go.

"Okay Angela. I'll let you go. I'll give you the time you need. " "But I want you to know and remember this." He raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek. "I love you and I'll never let you go from my heart. Never." he said firmly. She clasped his hand with hers and as if on cue they both let go at the same time.

"I'm uh, I'm going to go upstairs now."

He watched her climb the stairs each step she took feeling like a piercing blow to his heart. He sat down on the couch and wrapped the blanket around him. It smelled like her. So sweet. He felt his heart breaking into a million pieces.

She found him still sitting on the couch a little while later. He looked so sad. She was still upset but she also couldn't deny the fact that she loved him. She walked over to the couch and sat down beside him. She slipped her hand in his and put her head on his shoulder.


	16. Chapter 17

They sat in silence. Neither of them knew what to say. They had always been able to talk to each other but now for some reason they couldn't. She hated the fact that this whole Kathleen situation was causing problems between them. She wanted things to be like they were before. Before she came into their lives and ruined everything.

She lifted her head off his shoulder.

"Dad? Are you okay?"

He looked at her and she saw the sadness in his eyes.

"No, I'm not." he sighed. "I just lost the best thing in my life since your Mom."

"What do you mean Dad?"

"You may as well hear this Sam. Kathleen and I broke up today."

Sam couldn't believe it. Kathleen?! Kathleen was the best thing in his life since her Mom died?! What about Angela?!

"I'm sorry Dad." she said her tone of voice a sharp, bitter contrast to her words.

"No, you're not Sam. I know how you feel about her."

"Okay, so I'm not upset that the two of you broke up. But I can't believe you said that she is the best thing in your life since Mom." She got off the couch and folded her arms.

"Sam..."

"I mean I know I'm being childish and selfish but why her?! Why not Angela? And if Kathleen is the best thing in your life" she choked on the last few words. "Then why did you break up with her?"

"I'm not talking about Kathleen Sam. I'm talking about Angela." he said quietly.

Father and daughter locked gazes as Sam finally understood what he meant.

"Dad are you saying......"

"That I love her? Yes, I am. I love her and I lost her."

Sam sat down beside him once again. "What happened?" she asked gently.

"I told Angela that I wasn't going to be seeing Kathleen anymore. I told her that I never should have started seeing her in the 1st place." he paused and looked down sadly. "Then I told her that I was sorry and that I loved her." He looked back up and into his daughter's sympathetic eyes. "She was so angry Sam. So angry and so hurt."

Sam paused for a moment before she said her next words. "Well Dad, I don't want to hurt you anymore than you already are but can you really blame her?"

"No, I can't. I don't. Cause I know I would feel the same way if things were the other way around."

"So, what happened next?"

"She was crying Sam. And it..it was like a knife in my heart. If someone had stabbed me it would have hurt less. I went over to her and I pulled her to me. I could feel her body shaking." he paused to rub his eyes. "Then I led her to the couch and sat down with her. I held her in my arms and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I mean I knew that she was upset but...." he trailed off.

"But what?"

"It felt right. She felt right. No woman since your Mom has ever felt right. I mean yeah I have dated my share of women since your Mom died. But, none of them ever felt right. None of them made me feel like I was on top of the world one moment and so insecure the next."

"You insecure?" Sam teased him.

"Yeah, well that's what love does. That's how both your Mom and Angela make me feel."

"You still feel that way about Mom?"

"Of course I do. She will always have a special place in my heart. She was my first love and she gave me you." he smiled at her. They each got lost in their memories of Marie until Tony broke the silence.

"I think that one of the reasons I was reluctant and afraid to tell Angela that I loved her was because of your Mom."

"Really? Why?"

"I guess I felt that I was betraying her."

"But, Dad you said yourself that since Mom died you dated your share of women.."

"Yeah, I did. But I never gave them my heart."

"Until Angela."

"Yeah, until Angela." he said quietly.

"So what happens next?"

"I don't know. She asked me to let her go. She said she needed time."

"Well, I know that will be hard for you Dad. But, I think you need to respect her wishes. I mean you know Angela. If you push her you may never get her back."

"But, how am I supposed to do that Sam? How am I supposed to let the woman I love go?"

"She did it for you Dad."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kathleen. She let you go so you could be with her. Do you have any idea how hard that was for her?"

"I guess I never gave it any thought." he said clearly ashamed.

"No, you didn't Dad. And I think that proves how much she does love you. Another woman would have given you an ultimatum. It's either me or her. But, Angela didn't. Even though it obviously killed her she let you go so you could date another woman."

"And I broke her heart in the process." he said sadly. "I broke that beautiful, kind woman's heart."

"Yeah, you did Dad." her smile contrasting her harsh words. "But, don't lose hope."

"You seem pretty sure that things will work out."

"Well, after everything the two of you have been through it would be pretty awful if you couldn't work things out."

"Yeah, it would. I just hope...."

"What?"

"I just hope that I haven't hurt her so badly that we can't work things out."

"Don't lose faith Dad. The 2 of you belong together."

"Yeah, we do. I just hate myself for not realizing it sooner."

"Well hey you are a man. Men are a little slow." she teased him.

"Thanks honey." he said sarcastically giving her a kiss on her cheek. "I'm going to go to my room. Thanks for the talk."

"Anytime Dad."

She watched him climb the stairs and flopped back against the couch.

He stopped at her door and heard the faint sounds of her crying. He wanted to go in and comfort her but he didn't want to break his promise. So he did the next best thing. He traced a heart with his finger and "wrote" the words I love you inside. He placed 2 fingers against his lips and gently pressed them inside the heart.

"I love you" he whispered quietly and turned to go into his room.

Previous


	17. Chapter 18

She could tell that she was nervous. Every time she came there it was always the same. She would wring her hands eyes darting every which way. It would be several moments before she would say why she was there. But, she always knew. It always was about him. About their relationship. The good and the bad. The ups and the downs. Sometimes she would have to ask her why she was there. This seemed to be one of those times.

"So, what brings you here today?"

"He met her Father." she said quietly.

She didn't have to ask who "HER" was.

"I see." she said. "So, what happened?"

"It was a few weeks ago. I came home from a date with Andy and found Tony about ready to go out. He told me that he was having dinner with- with Kath...." swallowing hard she continued. "and her Father."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Angry. Scared. Sad."

"Why do you think you felt like that?"

"Isn't it obvious?'

"What?"

"Why she wanted Tony to meet her Dad?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Dr Bellows, I......" she trailed off.

"What? Come on you know you can tell me. It's just you and me here."

"I was so scared when I heard that he was having dinner with them. And when I heard that he made him his favorite cake!" she half laughed as she wiped her tears away. "I mean it was just cake and it scared the hell out of me. Isn't that silly? I mean Tony has made cakes for us before for our birthdays and for The Bower Agency Christmas Party but Tony making Kath....her dad's favorite cake just made me feel so lonely."

"Angela, you said yourself it's just cake. "

"I know but when he would make it for us that was somehow different."

"How?"

"Because we are a family. An unconventional one yes but still a family."

"But, Tony is dating her. And you have always told me that Tony is a nice guy. Maybe he just made the cake to be nice."

"I know that in my head Dr Bellows. But, in my heart I just feel like it got broken all over again."

Angela was quiet for a few moments as she attempted to pull herself together.

"I couldn't sleep the entire night. All I could think about was the reason why she wanted them to meet...." Once again she trailed off.

"Why is that?"

"She wanted them to meet so her Dad would like Tony cause she wanted them to get married."

"So, I take it that is why you are here? Tony is going to marry her?"

"No, he isn't."

"He isn't? Well you should be happy then. But, I can see that you're not."

She shook her head as tears slipped down her face.

"Angela?"

Angela lifted her head to look in her eyes.

"Talk to me. Tell me more."

"He isn't going to marry her but she wanted him to move in with her."

"And that is why you are here? He is moving out to live with her?"

"No, he isn't."

Dr Bellows was confused. Tony wasn't going to marry Kathleen or move in with her. Angela should be happy. Instead she looked like she had lost her best friend.

"Angela? If Tony isn't going to marry her or move in with her then why are you so upset?"

Angela shook her head. "I don't know."

"Angela, I want to help you. That's what I'm here for. But, you need to trust me. Why are you so upset?"

"Because I was so scared that he was going to leave me. I mean I know we aren't officially together but......"

"In your heart you feel like you are."

Angela nodded and sighed heavily.

"So is there anything more?"

"Yes, there is."

"So, tell me."

"Tony broke up with her about 3 weeks ago."

Dr Bellows was surprised. "He broke up with her? How does that make you feel?"

"When he told me at first I was so relived. It was like waking up from a long nightmare. But, then I just felt so...."

"So what?"

"Angry and confused."

"Why?"

Angela paused and took a few of the Kleenexes from the box on the table. Wiping her tears away she continued.

"When he first told me all I wanted to do was throw my arms around him especially after he told me that he was sorry and that he loved me."

"Tony told you that he loves you?" Dr Bellows was surprised but happy.

"Yes, he did." Angela smiled softly. "It was what I have been hoping and wishing for and I wanted to tell him that I loved him too and that I forgive him but for some reason I just couldn't."

"What did you say and do instead?"

"I got so angry. It was like a dam had burst. All the anger and hurt I had been holding in all these months just came tumbling out. I just yelling at him that he had choices."

"What kind of choices?"

"The choice to leave the hotel room that night for one and the choice not to keep on seeing her for another."

"And what did he say to that?"

"He said he was sorry and that he knew now-knows now that he should have never started dating her in the first place."

"Well it sounds like he is sorry for what he did. So why are you so reluctant to tell him that you love him and forgive him?"

Angela shook her head "I have asked myself that question a million times these past few weeks."

"Angela do you love Tony?'

"Yes, I do."

"So after Tony breaks up with her and tells you that he is sorry and that he loves you there is still something that is stopping you."

Angela nodded and sighed.

"Do you trust him?"

"In some ways, but not in others......not anymore."

"In what ways do you trust him?"

"As my best friend, as a fellow parent, as someone who can put up with my Mother and all her antics." she laughed.

"And in what ways don't you trust him?"

Angela was quiet for several moments as she pondered Dr Bellow's question.

"My heart." she said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because he had my heart and he broke it." she said softly as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "And I guess I'm afraid that if we get together..."

"Yes? Angela I think you're almost there. Go on."

"That it will happen again." she gasped and put her hands to her mouth.

"You're afraid that Tony could hurt you like he did again?"

It was all so clear now.

"Yes, I am." she cried as the tears fell down her face. "I mean I never imagined that he would ever....I mean I know that we aren't officially a couple but I thought we were building towards becoming one until..."

"Until he did what he did."

"So I guess that's it then. I mean if I can't tell him that I love him and forgive him and if I'm scared that it could happen again." she paused to wipe her tears and blow her nose. "I guess we can never be together."

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it seems to me like you have two choices."

"Choices? What choices?"

"Well you could tell him that you don't forgive him and that the two of you will never be together or you could do something much harder."

"What?"

"You can trust him. You can trust him with your heart again that he will never ever hurt you like this again."

"So, I guess that I have some thinking to do." Angela said quietly.

"Yes, you do. Just make sure whatever you decide is what you can live with."


	18. Chapter 19

"How long as he been here?"

"About an hour just staring into the same mug of beer he ordered when he came in."

Vinnie sighed as he took a sip of his own beer. He had been worried about Tony since Sam had called him a week ago. She had told him about Tony breaking up with Kathleen and telling Angela that he loved her. But, apparently things between them were now very tense. He and the guys had been wanting to talk to Tony but the opportunity had never presented itself. Luckily Marty had called him and he in turn had called the rest of the guys who should all be here *he checked his watch* in about 10 minutes. Vinnie sighed and took another sip of beer. Tony looked miserable. He hadn't looked this bad since Marie had died. He remembered that time. His friend who was so normally upbeat and outgoing had been so down and crestfallen that it broke his heart. And now here he was looking the same way. He had to do something. He had been there for Tony before and he would be there for him now.

Tony stared into the mug of beer but all he could see was Angela's hurt face. All around him people were talking and laughing but all he could hear was the pain in her voice.

"You had a choice Tony! You had the choice to leave the hotel room but you didn't! You had the choice to tell me it was over with her but once again you didn't!"

She was right. He shook his head. She was. He did have a choice and he made the wrong one. The wrong choice and here he was miserable without the love of his life.

"Tony, please let me go."

He sighed heavily. He heard those words in his dreams every night. He heard them in his every waking hour. He missed her. He ached with how much he missed her. Sure they were still living together but the distance between them was so wide he felt like they were living in different states. He wished there was something-anything- he could say or do to make her come back to him. But Sam was right. He had to give her time. He would wait forever for her. If he rushed her it could ruin everything. He looked up as Vinnie and the rest of the guys sat down at the table with him.

"Hey Guys."

"Hi Tony!"

"Hey Tone!"

"So, what's up?" he asked knowing the answer to his question already.

"You tell us." Philly said.

Tony shrugged. "What's there to say? You guys were right. I love Angela and I totally screwed everything up."

"So what now?" Eddie asked.

Tony sighed. "She doesn't want anything to do with me. She asked me-no told me to let her go."

"So are you just going to sit there and tell us you've given up?" Tiny asked grabbing a handful of peanuts.

"No, I told her that I was never going to give up on her. I mean how can I? I love her. I haven't loved a woman like this since Marie."

"But?" Vinnie asked.

"But, I can't push her. She's not the kind of person who can be. I need to give her time. Like Sam said. But to tell you the truth guys. Its killing me. I just feel so lost without her." He said his eyes taking on a sad lost look.

The guys laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You just sound so pathetic and miserable." Philly wisecracked.

"Hardy Har Har!" Tony said sarcastically. "I thought you guys would be happy. I mean hey I've finally admitted that I love Angela."

"Well we are. But hey you know us. We're still going to rile ya."

Tony started to smile and then stopped almost immediately.

"Hey Tony. Things will work out." Vinnie said patting him on the back.

"I hope so."

They sat in silence drinking their beer and eating the peanuts and pretzels that were on the table. A beautiful dark haired woman approached the table.

"Well Tony Micelli. How have you been?"

Tony looked up and was a little shocked to see who it was.

"Hey Frankie. How are you?"

"I'm good. My job is going great."

"That's good." Tony said out of politeness more than interest.

"Thanks. But, there is something missing. Or should I say someone..." the tone of her voice left no doubt who she was talking about.

Tony stood up and threw some money on the table. "Sorry Frankie. But, I'm spoken for."

"Angela right?"

"Yep, it always has been and it always will be. See ya later guys."

"Bye Tony!"

"Bye!"

"See ya Micelli!"

The guys and Frankie watched Tony leave Marty's.

"Well you can't blame a girl for trying. But, I should have known. I could sense something between them years ago." Frankie shrugged and went to order a drink.

"Yeah, let's just hope I'm right and things do work out." Vinnie said standing up. "Okay whose butt am I going to beat in pool tonight?"


	19. Chapter 20

Mona leaned back and sighed. These past few weeks had been so tense at home and here at work. She wish she knew what to do to help them. They belonged together- everyone knew that but it just seemed like they were growing further and further apart. For once in her life she felt helpless. She witnessed the two of them struggle to present some kind of normalcy to her, the kids, and their friends to no avail. Come on who were they kidding? They were miserable and were making everyone around them miserable. For the past few weeks they had been overly polite and cordial to each other-so much so that it was grating on her nerves. It wasn't a relaxed politeness but more of a tense politeness. Gawd! What could she do? She had to do something! She hated seeing them like this. It broke her heart. Hell, she didn't even feel like herself anymore. She didn't even feel right joking around and teasing the two of them anymore.

She recalled a day about a week ago. She had come home early and had found Tony sitting on the couch looking at a picture. Usually she would have made some smart- alack comment about him goofing off in the middle of the day without the boss around. But one look at his face stopped her in her tracks. She had never seen someone so lost, in despair, and in love all at once. She stood there for several moments just staring at him. He gently stroked his finger over the picture his eyes filled with love and sorrow. Sensing her presence he turned around and sighed deeply. She walked over to him and sat down beside him. He was holding a picture of Angela and him that had been taken in New Mexico.

"I miss her Mona." he said quietly.

That was all he said and it broke her heart. She wish she had some sort of magic words to make him feel better. But the only person who could do that was the very person he was missing.

Mona snapped out of her thoughts and decided that enough was enough. It was time to talk to Angela. With renewed determination she strode to Angela's office and burst in.

"All right Angela." she said sitting down. "It's time the two of us had a little chat."

"I'm busy Mother." Angela replied without looking up.

Mona wasn't having any of that. She grabbed the papers out of Angela's hands.

"Mother!"

"Daughter!"

"Look, I am in no mood for this. Just give me my papers back."

"No."

"No?"

"That's what I said."

"Mother, may I remind you that I'm your Boss?" Angela said although she knew what she said was feeble.

"I'm not here as your employee Angela. I'm here as your Mother."

"Okay fine, so what do you need to talk about?"

"You know."

"Mother I..."

"How long are you going to let this go on? How long are you going to punish him?"

"Mother, I just need time."

"He loves you and he is sorry for what he did."

"I know he is."

"So then why can't you tell him you love him?"

Angela shook her head and reached for the box of kleenex on her desk. She was silent for a few moments.

"Angela, do you remember the night you came home from having coffee with Peter? After you found out about Tony and..."

"Yes. Yes I know." Angela interrupted. "What about it?"

"Do you remember what you told me?"

"No."

"You told me that you told Tony that maybe this part of your journey. That maybe you have to go through this to see if you can go any further."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Darling, you both went through the journey. Andy and Kathleen are both gone. Tony is waiting for you."

"Mother, I'm..." Angela choked up unable to continue.

"What Baby?" Mona reached across the desk and took Angela's hand in hers.

Angela looked down in surprise. It was very rare that Mona was so loving and motherly. But, when she was it felt nice.

"I'm still so scared and angry."

"Of what?"

"He chose her Mother! He chose her over me. That night in the hotel room and the next day when I asked him if it were over with her. All he had to do was say that it was. That he just got caught up in the moment. And it would have been okay. I mean yeah I still would have been upset but not like I felt when he told me that he didn't know."

"Okay maybe he did choose her over you. But think about it this way. He chose her temporarily. But he's choosing you permanently."

Angela let her words sink in. "I never thought about it like that."

"Angela, he's miserable without you. Its kinda pathetic." Mona cracked a grin to lighten the mood.

Angela smiled softly. "I'm miserable too."

"Then end this so we can all get back to normal. I mean do you realize how long its been since I've teased and harassed the two of you?" Mona asked in mock despair.

"I'm so sorry." Angela replied dryly.

"You need to talk to him. You love him and he loves you."

"I do." she replied softly.

"I know. Now you just need to go home and tell him."


	20. Chapter 21

"Well Anthony you've been quiet for 10 minutes now. I think that's a new world record for you." Father Marconi said teasingly trying to invoke a reaction.  
Tony smiled and sighed heavily. He had been driving around and had somehow ended up here. He had no idea how or why. It must have been some higher power urging him to. He had come to Father Marconi numerous times before and he had always helped him. So this time shouldn't be any different. But for some reason he felt nervous. As if something was about to be revealed. Something that he wasn't ready for.

"Anthony, you obviously have something on your mind. Is it Sam? Is she okay?"

"Yeah she is. She's in college and is engaged to a guy named Matt." Tony smiled but at the same time felt a little jolt when he remembered the dream he had about Sam being married to some guy named Hank.

"Well sounds like she's doing well." Father Marconi smiled. "So is this about Mona or Jonathon?"

Tony shook his head.

"Angela?"

At the mention of her name Tony looked down at the floor then back up at him. "Yes." he said softly.

"What about her? You didn't "kill" anyone else did you for her?" he asked jokingly. Tony didn't laugh or even smile so he knew that whatever was bothering him was serious.

"Tony? What about Angela?" he repeated this time more seriously.

"I love her."

"I see. And does she know?"

"Yes, I told her."

"I take it from your expression that it didn't go over so well."

"No, it didn't."

"So she doesn't feel the same way about you?"

"No-Yes-No- I mean she does. I feel it in my heart but she hasn't told me yet."

"Why?"

Tony sighed. "Because I hurt her Father. I hurt her so much that I don't think things will ever be the same between us."

"What happened?"

"I messed up. I messed up big time. I was so convinced that I wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with her. So I denied my feelings. I pushed them down." he sighed and continued. "I told her that I didn't go looking for this." he said the last part to himself but Father Marconi picked up on it.

"You didn't go looking for what?"

Tony shook his head trying desperately to clear the cobwebs from his already muddled head.

"It's the reason why I don't think things will ever be the same between us. I- I became involved with another woman."

"I see." Father Marconi said quietly leaning back in his chair. "And this other woman? Is she still in the picture?"

"No, no. I broke up with her when I realized I was in love with Angela."

"So this involvement with this other woman is that what you didn't go looking for?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure about that?"

Tony looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Well you said yourself that you were convinced that you weren't good enough for her. That you denied and pushed down your feelings. Maybe subconsciously you got involved with this other woman so you wouldn't feel any pressure to admit to yourself that you loved Angela."

"You think so?"

"Well think of it this way. Let's say you are applying for a job. You have the skills and qualifications but for some reason you convince yourself that you aren't good enough. So you subconsciously mess things up. You make sure you give a lousy interview or you blow it off all together. That's kind of what you did here."

Tony looked at him in amazement. Could that be it? Could he have been looking for ways to destroy any chance for a romantic relationship with Angela? So he could keep on pretending that he hadn't fallen in love with her? So he could keep protecting his heart and their friendship?

"You've grown quiet again." Father Marconi smiled. "What are you thinking."

"I think you're right Father. I think you're right. Thank you." he smiled and stood up.

Father Marconi stood as well and walked around his desk.

"Hey that's what I'm here for. Anytime you need to talk my door is always open." They walked to the door and said their goodbyes.

"Anthony?"

"Yes Father?"

"Best of luck to you and Angela. I hope things work out for you."

"Thank you."

"Even though she isn't Catholic." he said with a wink and a smile.


	21. Chapter 1

Angela walked into the kitchen and put on the tea kettle to make herself a cup of tea. It was late but she couldn't sleep. Her mind had been jumbled all evening since learning that Tony was meeting Kathleen's Dad. She had tried sleeping but found herself alternating between crying and tossing and turning. So she decided that a nice cup of hot tea was in order to soothe her nerves. The tea kettle whistled and she poured herself a cup sitting down with it at the kitchen table. She wrapped her hands around it and sat there her thoughts about Tony meeting Kathleen's Dad causing a cold shudder to go through her.

Angela knew what meeting Kathleen's Dad meant and it scared the hell out of her. There was no other explanation than that Kathleen was hoping that she and Tony would be getting married someday. Why else would she want her Dad and Tony to meet one another? New tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about Tony and Kathleen as husband and wife. She never thought or should she say that she had prayed that their relationship would never reach the marriage level. But it was pretty obvious now that it was heading in that very direction. Angela had never felt more scared in her life than she did at that very moment. If or she hated to admit this when Tony and Kathleen got married things between Tony and her would change dramatically. He no longer would be living with her and they would no longer be sharing their day to day lives with each other. At least for now he was still living with her but for how long? She didn't expect him to live with her forever but still the thought scared her that he would leave her and marry Kathleen.

Kathleen. That name sent shivers down Angela's spine every time she heard it. She was a nice enough woman but Angela couldn't help herself from feeling resentful of her. She knew that she really didn't have a reason to be. After all she and Tony weren't married or anything and he was free to date whomever he pleased... just like she was. Her mind drifted to the guys she had dated since that fatal night in the study when she had told Tony that "maybe they had to go through this to see if they could go any further." Even though it had hurt her deeply and even though there was a part of her that had wanted to plead with Tony to not pursue a relationship with Kathleen she had decided with a broken heart that it would be better if she let Tony go so he could be free to have his chance at a relationship with Kathleen. But now she wondered if letting him go had been the right thing. She had foolishly thought they would go out a few times and that would be that. But it wasn't just a few times and it was becoming more and more clear that he was getting deeply involved with her. If meeting her Father wasn't enough to convince her that their relationship may very well soon be at the marriage stage- she didn't know what was.

The rest of the family thought she was doing okay with Tony dating Kathleen. But the truth was the more involved he became with her the more scared she became. Oh sure she hid it well by dating those other guys and pretending for the most part that she was okay with the changes in her relationship with Tony. But it was all an act. An act that she was sick and tired of playing. She wanted things to go back to how they were before Tony had made the choice to sleep with Kathleen and therefore changing her life and their relationship forever. She sighed and took a sip of the now cold liquid and grimaced. She poured the tea down the drain and left the kitchen to go upstairs to try to go back to sleep. She slowly walked up the stairs each step feeling heavier and heavier just like her heart was. She opened her bedroom door and slipped into bed feeling new tears streaming down her cheeks as she thought about Tony and Kathleen making a lifetime commitment to each other.

"What am I going to do without you Tony?" she cried before finally drifting off into a restless sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

He dusted every piece of furniture in the house. He swept every room, mopped the kitchen floor, washed everyone's bedding and cleaned the oven. He was trying to do anything to keep his mind occupied. But it wasn't working. Everywhere he looked he saw her. When he dusted the table behind the couch he saw her talking on the phone. When he swept the rug he saw her on the couch eating and brushing the crumbs off her. When he mopped the kitchen floor he saw her unsuccessful attempts at cooking. He had to face it. He couldn't escape her. Hell, he didn't want to but this situation between them was killing him. He wanted her back. The macho, emotional Brooklyn Italian man side of him wanted to walk up to her and kiss her until she was breathless and told him that she loved him. But the logical, rational side of him knew that "man handling" her would definitely backfire. So he would continue to be patient. But for a mostly impatient man it was killing him.

Walking into the living room he collapsed on the couch and leaned back and closed his eyes. There she was. Her eyes were shining and her hands were covering her mouth as she giggled. That cute little giggle that made his stomach flutter with butterflies. He smiled as he saw himself remove her hands and place his lips where her hands had been. The giggling stopped and all he heard now were her contented sighs. Their kiss deepened as he pulled her close and she ran her fingers through his hair...

The front door opened jolting him out of his fantasy. Turning towards the door he saw her. The object of his affections. The love of his life. His heart. His life. His soul mate. He wanted to go to her and take her in his arms and hold on tight. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and smell the strawberry scent of it. But he didn't. The promise he made to her to let her go while she figured out why she couldn't be with him just yet lingered in his mind.

She walked towards him and sat down beside him. He felt himself get excited. He knew he shouldn't. But, he couldn't help it. Usually she would go right up to her room. But not this time. This time she was sitting beside him. Not closely but close enough. *Could this be it?* he thought excitedly. Could she finally be ready to be with him?

"Tony, I um... I think we need to talk."

She was nervous. He could tell. He wanted to take her hands in his and tell her not to be. That all she had to do was tell him that she loved him and they could forget the past. But, he didn't. Instead he clasped his hand together.

"Okay." he said his voice taking on a slightly expected tone.

Angela sighed deeply and looked down at the floor, then back up at him.

"Tony, I- we can't go on like this. It isn't fair to either of us."

*YES!* he thought excitedly. She was finally ready!

"I agree" he said quietly.

"For the past few weeks you have been very patient with me. And I want you to know how much I appreciate that. I know it probably wasn't easy."

"No it wasn't. But I made a promise to you."

"And now I am relieving you from that promise."

Tony felt a grin beginning to spread across his face. But when he saw her expression the grinning stopped.

"Tony after Jamaica I thought we were building towards something, I knew it wouldn't be right away but I held on to that hope. Then you slept with Kathleen and suddenly everything was different. You wanted to keep on seeing her and I just felt my heart breaking."

"I'm sorry Angela. If I could take it all back..."

"I know you're sorry. I do" she assured him. "But, I..." she trailed off.

"But what?"

"Tony, I want you to know that you are my best friend and you will always be. And I thought we were heading towards something more. But now after everything that has happened I don't know if that's possible anymore."

Tony felt his heart sink and his stomach felt like it had a bowling ball in it.

"Angela? What are you saying?"

She shook her head and didn't even try stopping the tears that fell from her eyes.

"I don't want to lead you on anymore. I don't want you to get your hopes up about us anymore."

"Angela..." he reached out to take her hand. But she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Tony. But, I can't be with you. Not after everything that has happened. "

He was dumbstruck. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. He shook his head. No! No! No! He must have heard her wrong.

"Angela? Baby? Are you saying that there is no hope for us?"

"I'm sorry Tony. I truly am. But..."

"No!" He got off the couch and began pacing. He had to find the right words to convince her that she was wrong. "Angela, we can't just give up like this. We can talk things out. We can work things out. " he pleaded with her. "It can't be over."

"It is Tony." she said softly. "It was over when you slept with Kathleen. We can't go back. No matter how much we want to. When you slept with her and wanted to keep dating her you broke my heart. You broke my trust in you. I still trust you as my best friend and as our children's Father but that's all. I don't trust you with my heart. Not anymore."

He felt the room spinning and collapsed back down on the couch. He couldn't believe this was happening. He wanted to say something. But for one of the rare times in his life he was at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry Tony. I am." she said quietly and got off the couch. She walked towards the stairs and headed upstairs.

"Angela!" he called weakly. He looked around the room.

She was gone.

He was all alone.


	23. Chapter 23

Tony felt a cold shudder go through him as he recalled what had happened. Every word, every look was embedded in his system. He wanted to go after her but for some reason he couldn't. He was in shock. That had to be it. Was this it? Was it really over like she said? *No! This can't be it!* he screamed silently. There had to be something he could say or do. He couldn't lose her like this. She was everything to him. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. *Maybe if I close my eyes this will all go away.* He knew that was futile but he was willing to do anything. Anything to stop this nightmare. "Angela." he mumbled.

He felt a blanket being place on him and soft hands caressing his cheek. He knew those hands. He had held them for various reasons throughout the past 6 years. He opened his eyes and saw her looking at him a concerned expression on her face.

"Tony? Are you okay?"

Okay?" he cried silently. How can you ask that? How can I possibly be okay?

Swallowing hard he croaked out "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. When I came in just now you were shivering and calling out my name." she said gently.

"Well I," Wait a minute what had she just said? When she came in just now? "Angela? What do you mean by When I came in just now?"

Angela looked at him with a confused expression. "Ummm just like it sounds."

"You mean you just got home?"

"Yeah, a minute ago." She looked at him with concern. "Tony? Are you sure you're okay?"

Tony rubbed his hands over his face. It must have been some horrible nightmare. He felt himself relax a little.

"Tony? I came home early because we need to talk."

He felt himself shiver again.

"Are you cold? Do you need another blanket?" she asked in concern.

"No, I'm fine." Or I will be when you just say what you need to say he added silently preparing himself for the worst.

Angela saw the fear in his eyes and her heart broke. She hated putting him through this. She had to make it up to him. Now. And the only way to do that was to tell him everything.

"There is something you don't know. Nobody does..." she trailed off.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. As well as I can be." she said referring to the mess of the past few months.

He nodded his thoughts mirroring hers.

"Tony, I know the past few weeks haven't been easy for you. And I just wanted to thank you for being patient and for letting me go so I could have time to work things out in my head."

"Well, I did tell you that I would give you the time you need."

"Yes, you did. And like I said I know it wasn't easy."

"No, it wasn't. But, I figured I owed you that much."

" For the past few years I've been seeing a therapist. I started going to her when you saw Frankie at the Street Fair in Brooklyn."

"Why?"

"When you came home after spending the weekend with her and told Mother and me that she had proposed I got so scared. I couldn't understand why. I mean we were friends. But the thought of you marrying her just made me feel so scared."

"So you went to this therapist?"

"Dr Bellows. Yes, she made me realize that the reason I was so scared was because I loved you."

Tony was shocked. She knew she had loved him since then?

"Angela? You knew you loved me since then?"

"Yeah, well actually I didn't realize it until she asked me. She asked me point blank if I loved you. And when I said I did I was so surprised." she laughed softly. "I mean it never even occurred to me. And she told me that I should tell you and I tried to..."

"I remember that day. You came home from work early. I was surprised that you were playing hooky."

"Yeah, and I almost got it out but then Sam came in."

"Talking about Elvis's sister getting food poisoning." he recalled. "The course of true love never did run smooth." he said softly looking into her eyes.

"You said it right this time."

"I've never forgotten it." He paused before he said his next words. "Well I guess I did for a while." he said looking away from her. He was to ashamed to look her in the eyes.

She reached over and intertwined her fingers with his. He looked down at them and then up at her.

"Angela?" his expression and his voice were both laced with surprise.

"I went back to Dr Bellows this morning." she continued. "I needed her help to figure things out."

He waited with bated breath. He didn't know how to feel about what she was going to say. Did this Dr Bellows tell Angela that he wasn't worth it? That she should just tell him that the 2 of them wouldn't ever be together? That he had his chance and that he blew it?

"What did... How did..." at a loss for words he stopped.

"She helped me realize that the reason I have been so reluctant to tell you that I loved you and that I forgive you is that I'm scared."

"Of me?"

"No, not of you. But that if we did get together that it could happen again." she said quietly. She looked away from him.

It took Tony a few moments to understand what she meant. He felt like someone had knifed him in the heart. She was scared that he could/would hurt her again. But, he wouldn't. Never again. He would hurt himself before he would ever even think about betraying her again.

She continued "She told me that I had 2 choices. I could either tell you that we will never be together or I could do something much harder."

"What'?"

"I could trust you. I could trust that you will never hurt me like that again."

"Angela?"I can't take back what I did. And I can't erase all the pain I put you through. But, I can promise you this. I will never hurt you or betray you again. I love you."

He waited for her to say something. He had never been more nervous in his life.

"Tony, I won't lie to you and say that you didn't hurt me and that I wasn't angry with you. But, I also remember what I told you when- that night I found about you and Kathleen."

"What?"

"I said that maybe this was part of our journey. And that we had to go through this to see if we could go any further. And earlier today Mother reminded of that. She said that Andy and Kathleen are both gone." She paused to wipe away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. "And she said that you were waiting for me."

"I'd wait forever for you."

"I know and I'm sorry I've put you through all this pain these past few weeks and I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Angela don't!" he said sternly.

She looked at him in surprise.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. But, please don't apologize for yelling at me. You needed to say all those things and I needed to hear them. I needed to know how much I hurt you. I deserved every angry word and if you say that you don't think we can be together then I deserve that too. I won't lie and say that I'll be happy about it. But, if my punishment is losing you then I'll accept it."

"But, you're not."

"What?"

"You're not losing me. Tony when Dr Bellows told me that I had a choice to make- she was right. These past few months I have been so miserable. I have missed you so much." Tears ran down her face as she struggled to compose herself.

"Me too."

"And I don't want to spend any more time being miserable. I don't want to be without you anymore. " She started crying harder. On instinct he put his arms around her and breathed a silent sigh of relief when she didn't pull away. Once again he waited. He could feel her body shake with sobs and her tears on his shirt. He rested his chin on top of her head and rubbed her back. Finally her tears subsided. She pulled back slightly to look at him.

"I love you Tony. I do. And I want to be with you. I'm going to choose to trust you. "

Tony felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His heart felt lighter.

"Angela? Baby do you mean it?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do." she wiped her cheeks. "But please promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that you won't ever hurt me again." she said as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

He gently wiped her tears away. Taking her hands in his he raised them to his lips and softly kissed them.

"I promise Sweetheart. Never again. I love you."

"I love you too."

They looked at each other. They could feel the electricity between them. He wanted to kiss her. He needed to kiss her. Slowly he leaned forward...


	24. Chapter 24

Their lips met and he swore he heard bells ringing. He ran his hands up and down her back reveling in the fact that he was actually holding and kissing her. She felt so good. She tasted so good. He had wasted so much time denying his love for her. But, not anymore. From now on he would tell and show her every day how much he loved her. He already had a plan in mind. Their first official date. And it wouldn't be at a comedy club either. No, he was going to take her out for a night on the town. Dinner. Dancing. He felt like a school boy asking a girl out for the first time. He was nervous and excited. But in order to ask her he had to stop kissing her. With great reluctance he stopped kissing her but still held her close.

Angela struggled to catch her breath after their earth shattering kiss. Her lips were swollen, her heart was light and carefree, and her stomach was fluttering with butterflies. In other words she had never felt better in her whole life. She lightly stroked his face with her fingers and smiled at him. Her first genuine smile since the whole mess had started. It felt good.

He saw her smile and returned one of his own. This feels right he thought. This is how it was always meant to be. And how it will always will be.

"Angela? I need to ask you something?"

"What's that?"

"Well since we are now together I would be honored if you would go out with me this Saturday night."

"Why Mr Micelli" she said teasingly."Are you asking me out on our first official date?"

"Why yes I am Ms Bower. " he winked at her.

"It won't be at a Comedy Club will it?" she laughed recalling their somewhat disastrous date they had over a year ago.

He laughed with her. "No, my love." Intertwining their hands together his expression turned serious. "I want to take you out for a night of dinner and dancing."

"Sounds wonderful." She smiled. "It would be my pleasure."

"Oh no, no, no. The pleasure will be all mine. I'll pick you up at six." he told her kissing the top of her head.

"I'll be ready."

She placed her head on his shoulder allowing him to breathe in the sweet strawberry scent of her hair. They were each lost in their own thoughts until she heard him chuckling.

"What's so funny?"

"Me."

"You?" perplexed she lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him.

"Yeah, I mean I can't believe that I was so scared to tell you how I felt. I guess I kept focusing on the negative and not the positive."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you know I kept thinking that one of us -mainly me- would say or do something stupid and we would end up hating each other. I guess I never wanted to give us a chance as a couple because I was afraid of our friendship changing."

"Are you still scared?"

"Yes, I am. But not of loving you. I am scared that one day you'll wake up and realize..."

He didn't get a chance to finish because she silenced him with a kiss that was so loving and so breathtaking he nearly forgot his own name.

"You'll never have to worry about that. My love and my heart are all yours." she assured him when their kiss ended.

"And you have mine Sweetheart. You have mine."


	25. Chapter 25

Tony's hands fumbled as he attempted to tie his tie. He was so nervous. In just a little while he was taking Angela out on their first official date. He sat down on his bed his heart beating a million miles a minute. "Calm down. You've been on dates before." he chided himself. But that was easier said than done. Of course this wasn't like other dates. This was with Angela. His Angela. He smiled as he thought about her. Things between them had gotten so much better. It was like the last few tense months had just been one long nightmare. Now they were both awake. Awake and in love. Sam and Mona were happy for them-if Sam's goofy grin every time she saw them was any indication. Mona, of course teased and harassed them every chance she got. He didn't mind though. That was just her style. But unfortunately not everyone was happy. Jonathon was still giving him the cold shoulder. He still talked to him but it was always in one word sentences. Tony made a vow to himself that sooner or later they would get everything out on the open. They couldn't go on like this.

Voices from the hall alerted him to the fact that Sam and Jonathon were home.

"Hey guys." he greeted them stepping out into the hall. "How do I look?" He turned around so they could see all of him.

"Wow Dad! You look great. Angela is one lucky woman."

Tony shook his head. "I'm the lucky one sweetheart." He turned towards Jonathon. "So pal O mine how do I look?"

"Fine." he mumbled.

Tony couldn't let things go on like this anymore. He was about to ask to speak to Jonathon when Angela's door opened.

"Sam," Mona said in an overly sweet voice, "Could you please come in here and help my daughter pick out something to wear?"

"I thought she already did."

"She decided that the dress wasn't good enough. So she tried on three more but they weren't good enough either. And she can't decide what shoes to wear or how she should wear her hair. I swear if she changes her mind ONE more time You-she said pointing at Tony- will be going on this date by yourself."

"MOTHER!"

"Oh that does it! Blondie is going to get it!" Mona growled going back in the room.

"I guess I'd better get in there before Mona makes good on her threat." Sam grinned.

"I'd appreciate it honey. I don't want to go on this date by myself." Tony chuckled.

Sam walked up to him and gave him a hug. "You really do look great Dad." she whispered in his ear.

"Thanks sweetheart."

They ended their embrace and she went into Angela's bedroom closing the door behind her.

"Hey Jonathon could I speak to you for a moment?"

"I have to study for my math test." He started towards his bedroom.

"Jonathon! We need to talk about this." he said firmly motioning the young man towards his bedroom.

Reluctantly Jonathon followed him leaning up against his desk arms folded his face turned down towards the floor.

Tony sighed. It was clear he wasn't going to make this easy for him. But, he wasn't about to let that stop him. In spite of the happiness he felt he knew there was something missing. That something was standing in front of him arms folded in a defensive matter his face a mixture of anger and disappointment.

"Jonathon, I know that you are angry with me and what I did. And I don't blame you for that at all." He drew a deep breath willing himself to find the words to break the tension between them. "But, as much as I want to I can't change what I did or how much I hurt your Mom and our family. I know now that I hurt you guys just as much as I hurt your Mother. And I'm sorry about that. We had our own unique, loving, and yes unconventional family and I messed up. I took it for granted. But, I know now that I never want to take any of you for granted again."

Tony waited for his response and was struck by the similarities between Mother and son. Same downcast eyes. Same facial expressions. Jonathon lifted his head and looked at him. Those eyes that were just like his Mother's. Sure his were blue and hers were brown but they still were somehow the same.

"I just have one question for you Tony." he said quietly.

"What's that?"

"Was she worth it?"

"Your Mom? Your mom is worth..."

Jonathon shook his head vehemently. "No, not my Mom. Kathleen. Was Kathleen worth it? Was she worth making my Mom cry? Was she worth nearly destroying our family?!"

Tony was shocked and yet pleased at the vehemence in Jonathon's voice. At least he was opening up to him.

Before he could answer Jonathon continued. "I caught her crying one night. It was after you told us you were thinking about moving in with Kathleen. I couldn't sleep so I went to the kitchen to get a snack. She was standing by the teakettle. Her whole body was shaking. I urged her to sit down and I fixed us both a cup of tea and found some cookies. For a while we both just sat there. I wanted to say something-anything to make her feel better. But, I couldn't. I had never seen her that sad before. I remember when she and my Dad divorced. She was sad then. But, she had you Tony. Even though you hadn't been living here all that long I think she knew that she could count on you. That you would always be there for her. That's how I felt too. That is how I have always felt. Until you broke my Mom's heart. This time Tony she didn't have you to lean on. She didn't have you telling her that everything was going to be okay."

"You're right. She didn't have me. I know I let her down. I let all of you down."

"I know you and Mom weren't married or engaged or anything when you started things with Kathleen but it always felt like you were. I just always thought that one day you would be together. So when you nearly destroyed our family all over another woman I couldn't believe it. I was-I am so angry with you. For hurting Grandma, Sam, and me. But, mostly for hurting my Mom. So I'll ask you again. Was she worth it?"

Tony shook his head. "No, she wasn't. No woman is worth that. Your mother-she means everything to me. I wish it hadn't taken all this for me to realize it but that's the way it is. But, now things are great between us. I just hope that you and I can be like we used to be."

Jonathon studied him. He did look remorseful and he had missed talking to him about girls and playing basketball. He had always been there for him from the moment he convinced him to take his snake upstairs since as he had put it "The snake don't pay your allowance."

"Okay." he smiled.

Tony smiled as well feeling the tension melting like snow on a hot day.

"Okay, so how about you and I go to the game next weekend?"

"Sounds good." Jonathon said pushing himself away from his desk. He walked towards the door and turned back around.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"You really do look nice."

"Thanks pal O mine."

"Oh and one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Have my Mother home at a decent hour." he said his voice and eyes a mixture of humor.

Tony laughed and shook his head. "Go study for that math test" he said in a stern parental voice.

"Okay, I'm going."

Jonathon left and Tony looked at the clock on his nightstand. In twenty minutes he would be taking the love of his life out. But to start the evening off right he had to get going and pick up something special for her.

He slipped quietly out of his room, down the stairs, and into the night...


	26. Chapter 26

Mona and Sam collapsed on Angela's bed sheer exhaustion mirrored on both their faces. They had watched Angela try on ten different dresses each one more beautiful than the last. But, none of them was good enough according to her. This one was to short. This one was to long. This one made her skin look sallow. This one didn't go with her hair color... They really couldn't understand what the problem was. She really did look beautiful and elegant in all of them. They knew that Tony would think so too. In fact there was no doubt that he would be struck speechless if he saw her in any of them. But always the perfectionist Angela wanted to look just perfect for their first official date.

"You weren't kidding Mona!" Sam said in amazement.

"Tell me about it. I mean I know that tonight is a big deal and everything but she is seriously driving me crazy."

Sam sat up. "Mona, that's why she's freaking out. After everything that has happened she just wants to look perfect for tonight. She wouldn't be Angela if she didn't."

Mona sat up as well. "I know. I know. I just wish she would realize that all the dresses she tried on really did make her look beautiful." She sent Sam a stern glare. "Don't you dare tell her I said that!"

Sam laughed. "Your secret is safe with me."

"Okay, what about this one?"

They looked up as Angela stepped out of the bathroom. She was dressed in a short silk lavender dress with delicate spaghetti straps.

Mona and Sam smiled at each other than at Angela.

"That's the one." Sam smiled.

"Really? You're sure?" Angela asked looking down her insecurities getting the better of her. "I mean don't you think..."

"Angela!" Mona said firmly. "Sam's right. This is the one. You look beautiful."

"You do. Dad is going to lose all sense of speech when he sees you."

"Thank you." Angela smiled. She turned serious. "I just want to thank you for putting up with me. I know I probably drove you both crazy trying on all these dresses..."

"Yup, you did." Mona interjected in jest.

"Thank you Mother." Angela replied sarcastically.

"Hey you're the one who bought it up."

"Mother!"

"Ladies, can we cease and desist here?" Sam asked sternly her eyes taking on a serious look. But one look at Mona had her dissolving into a fit of laughter. Before long Mona and Angela joined her.

"Okay, okay enough of this merriment." Mona said wiping her eyes with her hands. "You really aren't going to wear your hair like that are you?" she asked looking at Angela.

"Mother, my hair is in curlers." Angela said dryly.

"That's why I asked."

Sam shook her head and stood up. "I highly doubt that Angela wants to go on her first official date with my Dad with her hair in curlers."

"Thank you honey."

"Okay, okay. I was just kidding. You are so uptight about tonight. I was just trying to loosen you up for Tony a little." Mona protested standing up as well.

"Well now that we know that I think it's time for me to work on your hair."

"You?" Angela looked at Sam a mixture of surprise and awe on her face.

"Well you've always helped me with my hair whenever I went out on my dates. I just thought I would help you. I mean if you don't want me to that's fine. I just..."

"I would like that sweetheart. In fact I'm glad you're offering. My hands are shaking so much I don't think I would be able to hold my hairbrush."

"Well then Ms Bower. Your hair stylist Mademoiselle Micelli is at your service." Sam said bowing before her.

"Why thank you Mademoiselle Micelli " Angela smiled.

She sat down at her make up table and Sam got right to work. Not to be out done Mona got out Angela's nail file and lavender nail polish and proceeded to do her nails. When she finished she proceeded to do her make-up emphasizing on her beautiful brown eyes.

For several minutes they worked in silence. Mona doing her makeup and Sam her hair. Sam clipped one section of her hair back with a petite lavender butterfly clip that matched her dress perfectly. Mona brushed her lips and eyes in a pale rose color. When they were finished they were both struck by her beauty.

Mona wiped a tear away as it fell from her eye.

"Do I really look that bad?" Angela joked.

"No, no baby. You really look that beautiful." Mona said leaning down and hugging her.

"You do." Sam agreed. She gently turned Angela around so she could see herself in her mirror.

"We did good kid." Mona said winking at Sam.

"Yes, you did." Angela said softly a single tear trickling down her cheek.

"Hey no blubbering Blondie." Mona scolded. "I'm not going to do your makeup over again."

"Okay, okay" Angela said standing up and pulling them both into an embrace.

"Angela you're choking me." Sam laughed.

"Me too." Mona gasped.

"Sorry." Angela said releasing both of them. "I just want you both to know how much I appreciate your help."

"By choking us?" Mona teased her.

"No, by telling you both how much I love you."

"We love you too Angela." Sam said smiling.

"Can we cut out this sappy stuff?" Mona pleaded.

"I love you too Mother."

"Of course you do. I'm a wonderful Mother." Mona said in jest. "And yes I love you too. But don't let that get to your head."

"Got it Mother."

"Well it's almost time." Sam said glancing at her watch. She took Angela's hand in her own. "Are you ready?"

Angela smiled. "I am. I'm more than ready."


	27. Chapter 27

Tony pulled into the driveway and turned off his jeep. This is it he told himself. You and Angela are going out on your first official romantic date. He glanced at the bouquet of pink roses that he bought for her. He couldn't wait to see her face when she saw them. Anything he could say or do to bring a smile to her face he would happily do. He grabbed the roses and exited the jeep and walked up to the front door. Taking a deep breath he rang the doorbell...

Angela glanced at herself once again in her full length mirror. Mona and Sam had really done an amazing job. But, she still couldn't stop herself from being nervous. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure that it was going to burst out of her chest. She went to her jewelry box and selected a silver and amethyst bracelet with matching tear drop earrings. After putting them on she got a shawl out of her closet and draped it over her arm. She slipped on a pair of silver and lavender pumps and completed the outfit with a silver beaded handbag. After one more quick look she left her bedroom closing the door behind her. The house was quiet. Jonathon was in his room studying for his math test , Sam had gone to a movie with Bonnie, and Mona had decided to go to The Down Beat. She glanced over at Tony's room and discovered that his door was slightly opened. Curious she went over and gently pushed it open. She was surprised to see it empty but then realized he must have gone downstairs to wait for her. Closing his door she started down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring.

*Who can that be?* she wondered. She really hoped that it was some one she could get rid of because all she could think about was her date with placed her shawl and purse on the bench and opened the door. There he was. The man she loved more than anything. Her breath stopped when she saw him. He really was the most handsomest and sexiest man she had ever seen and tonight she had never seen him look better. He was dressed in a black suit with a light blue dress shirt and a gray and blue striped tie. She was so focused on him it took her a few moments to notice the pink roses that he held in his hands.

Tony too was struck breathless when she opened the door. Her hair. Her dress. She looked beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He had a whole speech prepared but after seeing her he forgot all about it. He was quite literally speechless.

For a few minutes they just stared at each other. Each drinking in each other. Each memorizing every detail of each other as if it were the first time they had ever laid eyes on the other. Finally he broke the silence.

"Angela, you look beautiful."

Her whole face lit up in the smile that always made his heart skip a beat. He smiled back and handed her the roses.

She took them and put them up to her nose so she could breathe in their sweet scent.

"Thank you Tony. They're beautiful. And you look very handsome yourself."

"What this old thing?" he grinned.

She laughed and motioned him inside. He closed the door behind him and turned to her.

"You know Angela. I had this whole speech prepared. I had this whole plan of coming to our front door and dazzling you with the words I had planned to say. But, after seeing you I just couldn't. I mean you're so beautiful that sometimes I forget what I want to say or do." He lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek. "Angela, saying I love you doesn't seem to be enough. Because what I feel for you is so amazing and so intense that I don't think there are words that could ever begin to describe how I feel about you."

A tear trickled down her cheek and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

"Well, for someone who forgot what he was going to say you really did a good job." she smiled at him.

"What can I say? Your beauty inspires me." he said quietly looking at her so intensely she swore he could see right into her soul. Without a moments hesitation she planted a soft kiss on his lips. He put his arm around her waist to deepen the kiss her sweet scent mixing with the fragrance of the roses. After a few moments he reluctantly broke their kiss.

"I would love to stay here and kiss you all night but we do have reservations." he smiled at her.

"Okay, just let me get a vase for these flowers."

"I got just the one." he winked at her. He left the room and went into the kitchen. After a few moments he came back out with the crystal vase filled 1/2 way with water he had given her for Christmas a few years back.

"That was just the one I was thinking about." she smiled at him gently placing the roses into it. He set the vase down on the table behind the couch and walked over to the bench where she had placed her shawl and purse. He slipped the shawl over her shoulders and handed her her purse.

"Well Ms Bower are you ready?"

"Why yes I am Mr Micelli."

He offered her his arm and said, "Well then my love your chariot awaits."

She slipped her arm in his and together they walked out into the night.


End file.
